“I’ll talk to Coben. See if I can get you out of the internship. I’ll make a plan.”
I swipe away a tear. “No! I’ll find a way.” What I mean is that I will not let my aunt go out on a limb. I’m aware of the financial burden I have placed on her. A single mom, with a kid in college, then to take on the responsibility of me, too.
“If that is the only way for me to keep my scholarship. Ryder will understand.”
My aunt smiles at me sadly. “I’m sorry, Ash. I never thought you’d fall for his son.”
“You couldn’t have.” Standing, I place a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be in my room.”
When I shut the door behind me, the tears come in torrents, and I slide down to the ground in a heap.
ChapterEighteen
RYDER
At some point, a child needs a parent far less than the parent needs him. My mom was in tears when I announced that I’ll be moving out. My father and I will never see eye to eye, not when my decisions contradict his plans. My mom is now inspecting my apartment with a mixture of pride and sadness in her eyes.
“This is some view,” she says, standing at the window and admiring the lush green forest. “This here is a massive step up from the shoebox I moved into in college.” Mom chuckles and seems to drift off into thought. “I’ve never told you how much I admire your work.”
She looks over her shoulder at me. My mother has never dissuaded me from painting, but she’s also never encouraged it.
“You never said anything.” I walk over to stand beside her.
After a long sigh, she smiles at me wistfully. “I’ve seen some of it, in the Rothwell Gallery.”
“You did?”
“I was drawn to your painting of Lily.”
“How come you never said anything?” Her admission surprises and saddens me.
Mom shakes her head. “There isn’t room in this family for dreaming, Ryder. I learned that a long time ago.”
My sadness turns to rage. “You let him take so much from you, why?”
“Because I’m not strong enough…and because despite the hurt he’s caused me, I still love him.”
Scoffing, I turn away, crossing the room to avoid saying something I’ll regret.
“Don’t think I don’t know what a monster he is…but after twenty-three years, it’s complicated.”
“You don’t have to stay with him. I can make sure you’re taken care of.”
She strolls over and cups my face. “Taking care of me isn’t your responsibility. You’ve done good, son.”
* * *
Despite my reluctance Dylan has converted my apartment to party central. Music blares from my new speakers, and my living room is packed with people dancing and making out. Ash is in my lap, and my fingers trail over her thigh. Her brown eyes meet mine, hers glassy from shots. There’s something on her mind, I can tell. She hasn’t been herself tonight. Part of me wants to demand she tell me, but I know she will when she’s ready.
“Now this is the ultimate bachelor pad. Careful bro, I may move in,” Dylan says with a whistle. “Congratulations.”
Marcy glares at my best friend. “A man can dream. You and Ryder in a place of your own isn’t in the cards for you, lover boy.”
“You just like me crawling into your window every night.” She smacks him on the chest, but they proceed to make out as if the thought alone turns them on.
Pushing aside her hair, I kiss Ash’s neck, and she tilts her head to the side to give me better access. She smells of honey and cherry shots, a heady, erection-inducing combination.
I’ve never felt this inebriated by a woman, completely drunk on her.