When I catch my breath, I whisper, “My mom shot my father a few days later, and then turned the gun on herself. I didn’t even know we had a firearm, Ryder. How could I not know that?” My fingers fist in his t-shirt, the ache taking hold of me.
“I’m so fucking sorry, baby. Just know I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
I hold onto him with everything I am. The truth is that nobody can promise such things. People change and things happen. I am not foolish enough to believe in forever.
* * *
“Ash, is everything okay?” Aunt City asks as she chops vegetables in the kitchen. I’m working on an essay and keeping her company while she’s cooking since Marcella is allergic to chores.
“Yeah, great,” I say, wondering why she sounds so concerned. It’s been a week since I shared my past with Ryder, and we’ve gone back to just being us. His mom is back home, and she wants to meet me. It freaks me out a little.
“Are you sure? You can talk to me about anything you know. If something’s bothering, you—”
“Aunt City, you are terrible at keeping secrets and persuading conversation,” I interrupt.
She sighs, sets down her knife, and sits across from me. “I got a call from your student advisor. It seems you’ve been struggling to maintain your grades at the required levels, and they’ve suggested you do some extracurricular activities to make up for it.”
I frown. “None of my professors have said anything. My test results have been solid B’s and the occasional A’s. I’m on the college paper, writing the play, what more should I be doing?”
Felicity stares at me confused. “But that’s not what he says. Maybe we should make an appointment to see him on Monday, clear this up.”
“Yeah, of course.” My stomach knots. My scholarship depends on me maintaining a certain standing to continue to be eligible for it. So far, I have done everything required. I haven’t missed a test. I had two days off the entire semester, and it didn’t set me back at all. If anything, I’m far ahead of most of my peers.
“Hey,” Felicity places her hand on mine. “We’ll sort this out. Don’t worry. Your aunt can be pretty persuasive.”
I smile weakly.
“Now, you go on, I can finish up. I’m sure Marcy has Friday plans for you both.”
“Uhm…yeah. Ryder’s picking me up actually.”
She chews on her lip. “You two have been spending a lot of time together, huh?”
It’s an odd thing for Felicity to say. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Just be careful, sweetheart. The Rothwell’s don’t have the best reputation around here.”
“Why’d you say that?” She shifts in her seat, her shoulders tensing visibly.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” She waves me off. But it isn’t,nothing. My aunt is friendly with everyone, and she doesn’t even tell Marcy what to do or who to see. I decide to drop the topic though. She hasn’t explicitly forbidden me to see Ryder, so there is a possibility that I am reading too much into it. She’s probably just worried about me.
ChapterSixteen
RYDER
My father stands at the window in his study drinking a bourbon. He seems to be deep in thought. Rain crashes against the stained glass and a fire crackles. The scene is almost cozy. He’s been home since Mom got back and I suppose it’s better than nothing.
“Are you going to stand there boy, or come in and tell me why you’re here?”
I clear my throat stepping forward. “I’d like a word.”
This conversation is one that’s been held off for far too long and it’s time to rip off the band-aid.
My last collection sold for far more than I anticipated and there are galleries in New York and London that have expressed an interest in showcasing my work. LR’s paintings have taken the art world by storm, a critic wrote of my work in a renowned art magazine. I still use a lily and the initials LR as my alias. But I won’t hide my face from the world for much longer.
“Well, that much is obvious.” He turns toward me, nodding for me to take a seat.
“Dad, you’ve been planning for me to join you at Rothwell Corp for as long as I can remember. It was what I thought I had to do, but it isn’t what I want to do”