I have an attachment to Gian like I’ve never had before. The truth is, I’ve never been close to anyone before Gian. I had no relationships. My brother was the only person in my life and he kept me at a distance to cope with his own problems. Never, ever, could I keep a friend for long. They thought I was weak. They didn’t share my interests.
People always have reasons for not wanting to be in my life, or I have reasons to not want others in my life.
Yet, here I am. The girls at the club, the girls at the spa…I think of them as true friends now. And Gian…he’s like a boyfriend in a really twisted way. He may not be my ‘boyfriend’ but I know that I’m his girl. I can’t believe my strange little life.
And I kind of love it.
I like having my own little world with him. That’s really why I wanted to stay in today. I took some kind of strange pleasure in the idea that today, only Gian would see me. And I don’t know if I should tell him that because I know he’s not thrilled with the fact that I’ve decided to take up dancing on a pole in his club…but even though I enjoy that, I also enjoy being his. He is as close to understanding both as I think he’s ever going to, so I’ll just not press the issue or bring it up.
When the evening starts to wind down, I expect that Gian will arrive any time now. Instead of wearing any fancy lingerie, I opted instead to be completely naked for his arrival. I think there’s bound to be some level of excitement for that on his part. I grab a glass and a bottle of wine from the bar. It’s always so well stocked, but I haven’t seen Gian drink from the bar or drink alcohol anywhere else since the night I met him and offered myself up to him.
Maybe it’s a coincidence. But maybe it isn’t. I put the alcohol and the wine back and opt to wait for him while opening a second novel to read. I mean, there’s no story so compelling that I won’t drop it the instant Gian walks in. Except I must’ve picked the most boring story in the world and I can barely hang on while reading it. Despite doing mostly nothing all day, I find myself yawning and before I know it, I’m asleep, naked, in the bed I share with Gian only now I’m sharing it with a novel from my paperback stack next to the bed.
I wake up much later in the evening to Gian’s fingers stroking my chin.
“You must be tired, Luce, you don’t have to wake up,” Gian says in a low voice. There’s some emotion that I don’t understand in his voice, and he’s never called me Luce before. Only my brother has ever called me that.
Yawning, then wiping the sleep from my eyes, I sit up in bed. “No, this book was just very boring and instead of picking a different one, I apparently let it put me right to sleep,” I say with a small laugh.
Gian looks at me, bemused. Only the moonlight illuminates his gorgeous face, but there’s something in his eyes that tells me he needs me.
“What is it, Gian? What’s wrong?” I ask him. I can’t imagine what kept him so long, mostly because I don’t know anything about his business. But Gian always seems so unbothered. So in control. It makes me hurt for him to see him any other way.
“Don’t you worry about it. You can go back to sleep,” Gian says, standing.
Unconsciously, I touch my face where his hand was.
I get up to knees on the bed and look at him. “No, I want you. I’ve wanted nothing more today than to see you.
Gian’s eyes look at my naked body in the moonlight, a sliver of the silver shining over my breasts.
“Well, this is a much better sight than I’ve had all day,” Gian says. He laughs again, smiles, but there’s a heaviness in him that I wish I could erase. I wish he would at least share with me what’s wrong. “Please, Gian, tell me what’s wrong,” I say in a soft voice. I don’t want to push him if he doesn’t want to talk, but the truth is that I’ll be very hurt if he doesn’t want to tell me what’s wrong.
Gian looks at me and the smile over his face breaks through the sadness in his eyes. “I don’t even like Luke Gravos, but his wife…she’s worse than Terry ever was. Luke and I convinced her to back off, but she really wanted his head. I’m so glad I have you, Lucy. You’re more than I could have ever hoped for.” Gian’s eyes drink me in.