“War is unnecessary.”
Nino narrowed his eyes. “You’re looking for a Capo’s wife, for someone to present to your soldiers, someone who’ll represent your family as your mother and sister do. You’re looking for someone who seeks the public. Greta isn’t like that. Greta can’t. Greta prefers to stay in the background, away from attention. You’re looking for someone who blooms in the light but Greta seeks the shadows. Even if my brother would ever let her go, which he won’t, are you certain the Famiglia would accept a Capo’s wife that wouldn’t represent the Famiglia?”
I didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to know that by coming here I’d most likely forfeited my position as future Capo of the Famiglia. My mind was reeling with different scenarios of how I could run away with Greta or even kidnap her from her family. That I had chosen to talk to them was only for Greta’s sake.
“Your father’s protection gets you out of here because we value our cooperation with the Famiglia. Don’t do something that’ll bring war down on us.”
I shook my head. “I’m here because of Greta. I’m not leaving without having talked to her.”
“You stupid fucker, are you so tired of your life that you don’t know when to draw the line?” Fabiano muttered, slamming the glass down.
I only half-listened because someone had just risen from a booth in the corner and my attention was solely on her.
“Give me a moment with Amo.”
Nino looked at Amo and even I could see that his expression held warning. “I’ll be around the corner and you have five minutes.”
He and Fabiano got up from the barstools and sat down in a VIP nook so the surrounding wall gave us a semblance of privacy. That Nino had taken me here once Fabiano had called him showed me how much he trusted me and my judgment. I didn’t want to fail him.
Amo smiled, and my chest seemed to expand and my belly became a snake pit. I held out my hand and he took it, following me as I led him a bit further away from Nino and Fabiano.
“The odds are against us,” I said as I stopped behind a curtain that separated the storage area from the bar.
“I don’t care about the odds. I came here to ask for your hand.”
My stomach hollowed, my breathing catching in my throat. This wasn’t what I’d expected. I hadn’t even dared considering it. I tried to keep my emotions at bay, to think this through logically. This was too important to lose sight of all but my emotional turmoil. “Without your dad’s approval.”
Amo shrugged as if it didn’t matter but I knew how much he cared about his family. Our families were our everything. Hearing Nevio’s words had cut. That he thought being with someone meant betrayal. He was certain I’d never leave our family, never leave him because he couldn’t imagine leaving himself.
“Does Cressida know you’re here?”
Amo took a step closer, peering down at me with such intensity, I wondered how deep into my soul he could look. Nobody knew the darkness of my soul, but with him I wondered if maybe he saw and didn’t care.
“No, I don’t talk to her unless she doesn’t leave me a choice. But she knows my heart doesn’t belong to her.”
“And she doesn’t care?”
Amo chuckled darkly. “She cares about becoming a Capo’s wife, not my feelings.”
A Capo’s wife. All my life my family had kept me from social events, had allowed me to remain in my safe space. If I became Amo’s wife, that would have to end. The Famiglia was different than the Camorra. More traditional.
“What Nino said is true you know? I won’t ever be someone who’ll stand by your side in the flashlight, who’ll give interviews to the press, who’ll smile pleasantly at a camera.”
Amo slowly lifted his hand and touched my cheek. “I know you can do it. Everyone will love you. You’ll grow with the task.”
I could tell he really believed it. Maybe he wanted to believe it. My heart broke. I shook my head. “I won’t.”
Amo shrugged. “Once we have children, nobody will expect you to be in public all the time. Then it won’t matter anymore.”
I swallowed. Of course. Amo needed an heir. Amo needed a representative wife. He needed someone who’d grab the hearts of his soldiers. “I don’t even know if I want children.”
Amo frowned. “Why?”
“Because this world is such a harsh place, and so much is uncertain, that it seems unfair to bring a child into it.”
Amo nodded as if he understood but I could tell that he thought I’d eventually change my mind. Maybe I would, but it didn’t matter.
“I’m who I am, and that won’t change, and I can tell it’s not what you need. I’m not the person you need by your side.”