Twelve years old
I was only a young girl, dressed in my favorite tutu, when I came to the realization that the men in my family were like the monsters in the scary movies that Nevio loved to watch.
And a piece of my heart broke.
Screams and laughter rang out, filling our backyard, and the lingering smell of charcoal tickled my nose.
Mom caught my eye where she lounged on a sunchair next to our huge pool landscape where my twin Nevio, and cousins Alessio and Massimo had a water battle with Fabiano’s son Davide and my uncle Savio. The women of the family lounged on the sunchairs around them, having drinks. Only Aurora who was three years younger than me stood at the edge of the pool watching the fight as if she might want to join in. I sat on our patio, needing space, but even here the sounds became too much. It had been a long day filled with presents, cake, singing and hugs as Nevio and I celebrated our twelfth birthday.
If it was just my birthday, I wouldn’t have celebrated at all, but it was also Nevio’s day and so I braved the excitement.
I sent Mom an apologetic smile and rose from the chair. She nodded, a few blond strands falling out of her messy bun. She knew I had to leave and find peace in my room for the rest of the evening. I glanced around, looking for Dad to say good night as I always did. I found him, Nino and Fabiano in the common area of our mansion. It was a place that was busy most days. With three families living under this roof, everyone always used this area to gather—to celebrate and to argue alike. And Fabiano, who was like a brother to my dad and uncles, though he wasn’t blood, was over often too.
They were talking in quiet voices. I could tell something was up. A nervous energy was in the air, one that made my skin prickle in a way that made me long for a dark corner to hide. Dad fell silent when he spotted me. For a moment his dark eyes—the same dark brown as mine—held a gleam I couldn’t read before they became tender. I went over to him and briefly hugged his middle. “I’m off to bed.”
“Do that.” He kissed the top of my head before I pulled away and gave Nino and Fabiano a smile that felt a little tight from overuse today, then I headed into my family’s wing and into my room.
Until a couple of years ago, Nevio and I had shared a room but when I got overwhelmed by events, I often sought absolute quiet and Nevio wasn’t the quiet type. His room was a zone of war while mine was organized and spotlessly clean. Yet, our rooms were joined by a door so we could easily visit the other.
I got ready for bed despite it being only eight, but I felt tired and preferred to read in bed.
It was nearing eleven when I realized my mind and body wouldn’t find peace any time soon. I was still too overwhelmed by the day. Outside it had gotten quieter.
I got out of bed and put on my favorite white leotard, tights, tutu and ballet shoes before I headed downstairs. Through the French doors I could see that Mom, Nino’s wife Kiara, Savio’s wife Gemma and Fabiano’s wife Leona were still talking and drinking wine.Farther down, I could alsomake out movement, probably the other kids.
I decided against my ballet room in the small garden house. I didn’t like to dance there when so many people were in the garden.
Instead, I headed for the basement. Dad didn’t want me to be down there. But since Nevio had figured out the code for the steel door, I often went there when I couldn’t find solitude anywhere else.
I’d always loved the dark. I sought the nooks and crevices of our mansion to hide when the world around me became too much, when the sounds and smells crowded in my brain like an avalanche, threatening to bury me beneath. On countless nights I’d roamed the sprawling tunnels and rooms beneath our mansion and the two neighboring houses. One of them belonged to Fabiano and his family and the other was mostly vacant. Dad had bought it because he didn’t want direct neighbors. My uncle Adamo and his family lived there whenever they visited Las Vegas.
Tonight, something felt different about the basement. It took my eyes a moment to get accustomed to the dark, and that’s when I realized that light was coming fromsomewhere farther downthe hall. I followed it until I reached the first corridor below the neighbor mansion. It was illuminated. My brows puckered when I heard low voices from behind one of the doors.
Shuffling, like shoes being dragged over stone, sounded further down the corridor and I slipped into the room beside the cell. It wasn’t dark either and when I turned, I saw why. The room had a floor length window looking into the neighboring cell. Dad and Nevio were inside but they didn’t seem to see me. This was like a one-way window. I moved closer, wondering what was happening. Nevio’s hair was still wet and he was barefoot. The door to the cell opened, and Nino and Fabiano entered, dragging along a very tall but skinny man.
They shoved him to a stretcher in the center of the room, then proceeded to cuff him to it.
“Enjoy your birthday present,” Fabiano said with a shake of his head, his smile a little wrong, and left.
Nevio glanced between Dad and Nino, licking his lips. “Present?”
I shivered at the eager note in his voice.
“He’s yours to deal with,” Dad said, motioning at the man who looked terrified as his wide eyes darted between my brother and father.
Nevio laughed darkly, bent down and pulled his knives. He always carried two in leather holsters at his calves. No shoes or socks, but weapons.
I took a step back, shaking my head. What was going on?
Nevio practically leaped at the man on the stretcher, like a cat pouncing on an injured mouse, and sliced the blades in a slashing motion across his cheek. A scream rang out and I whirled around, my heart pounding, my vision becoming blurry.
I didn’t stop running until I reached a dark corridor. My breathing was labored. I tried to process what I’d seen, to understand the meaning of it all. Dad had gifted Nevio a man to deal with…
I knew Dad was feared in Las Vegas. He was Capo of the Camorra after all, but he’d always made sure I didn’t know too much about his work. Since I didn’t go to school or had contact to people outside of our world, I’d never heard the details of the rumors.
But even with my limited knowledge, I could only assume Dad had given Nevio that man so he could hurt him badly.
I counted to seventy-five before I crept back to the cell, driven by curiosity and fear alike. Dad always said we needed to face our fears or they’d control us. I slipped into the adjoining room. Goose bumps flashed across my skin when I approached the glass. Beyond it, Nevio still knelt beside the man on the stretcher but everything else had changed drastically. Blood covered Nevio’s face, clothes and the floor around him—even his feet. The man was a gruesome mess, and at first glance I was sure he was dead but then his eyes peeled open in his bloody face with the flappy skin. He was whimpering. Nevio smiled cruelly and brought the knife down on the man’s face again. An earsplitting scream rang out. I whirled around breathing raggedly. Cold sweat broke on my skin and my heart raced so fast I was sure I might have a cardiac arrest soon. I needed to check in one of the medical books in our library if it was even possible to have a cardiac arrest as a young person if you didn’t have a heart defect.