“You know my life isn’t easy, Raina. Tonight, I have a meeting with an organization who can help me. They’ll be able to assist with the accounts I’ve been in charge of with the companies who hired me. I want to take on less responsibility as I get older, and this meeting will allow me to plead my case.”
“Are you meeting the Nostra?”
My father glances at me, shock clearly written all over his face. “What? I don’t know what you’re—”
“Dad, please?” I plead as he looks at me, and I can tell he’s trying to find a way out of this conversation without admitting to what I already know. “Don’t lie to me.”
“Raina—”
I step closer to him, stopping when his brows rise in surprise. “Tell me the truth. I don’t want more lies and secrets. This life… Our life… You need to tell me the truth. I’m an adult now.”
He lowers his gaze to the floor. The guilt on his expression has my chest twisting and my stomach tight with anxiety. “You shouldn’t know about this, Raina. You’re far too young to even be talking about them. Even though this is our family legacy, I want them to keep you out of it. You’re innocent.”
“What about Andrea?”
He sighs sadly. Those eyes that offered me solace now hold apology. “He’s in this life now, no matter what.”
Nodding, I step back from him with a sense of doom knotting my stomach. It feels as if there’s a serpent twirling itself around my organs, squeezing the life from me.
“I love you, Raina. You’re a strong young woman and I only want what’s best for you.” His words hold my heart, weaving themselves around me. “Now go enjoy time with your friends and I’ll see you later. Okay?”
“I love you too, Dad.” Leaning in, I wrap my arms around him, giving him a hug so tight and so fierce, trying to remember what it feels like when he holds me because it’s as if this will be the last time I’m ever in my father’s arms.
My mind is racing a million miles a minute as I leave the office. Thinking of the names of the men Daddy works for, I wonder who exactly he’s meeting with. They’re all killers, volatile men who do horrific things.
I tiptoe through the house, settling myself on the sofa in the main living room. I glance out the window, watching the gardener work in the blistering sun. Summers in Los Angeles are my favorites. I love the sunshine, the heat. It reminds me of happier times before I knew about the evil that lives in this world.
The clouds are pulling over, an omen as far as superstitions go. Those gray clouds turn even darker and I want to run to my father, forbid him to go, but I know nothing will stop what’s going to happen tonight.
The silence of the house keeps me tense. My stomach is in knots. Then I hear the footsteps of my father as he makes his way to the exit, and I know he’s heading to the garage, which is only a few hundred meters away from the barn door of our family kitchen.
I know there’s more tension in this house than there is in a heist. My mother knows there is more going on beneath the surface of what my father has offered. I overheard the fighting one night, months ago, about a promise. A vow. I don’t know the details, but there was something scary in the way my mother uttered those two words.
Perhaps that’s why my father is so adamant about hiding things from me. I found all my daddy’s secrets. And while I’ve seen what they’ve done, I wasn’t as fearful as I thought I’d be. That makes me as bad as them. I’m as evil as they are with things I keep hidden.
Before I can tell him anything more, my phone buzzes. When I check the screen, I see his name.
The man I’ve been seeing.
We’re not dating. We’re not a couple.
He’s a secret. My darkest sin.
He’s a wicked man, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting him.
If anybody knew I was meeting him, I’d be in trouble. But he makes me tingle in places I want to tingle. He makes my body heat. And my panties? He makes them wet. I know there’s something wrong with me. At least, I think it’s wrong, but he makes me feel like it’s right. He tells me girls like me need it. They crave it.
And I do.
When I wake up from my dreams of what we do, my hand is between my thighs. I’m a naughty girl and I do risqué things. I’ve learned from the men my father brings in here and seen them with women. They think the basement is off-limits, but they don’t know that the code was easy to decipher.
When I’m alone, I go down there and watch the videos they record. The dirty things they do. Those filthy words they call the women. And I get myself off. Because I’m a bad, sinful girl.
My body likes the darkness.
I revel in it.
Only.