I move down the stairs and see Mom grabbing the front of Kenzo’s shirt. She looks livid, and for a moment, I worry that she’s going to hit him.
Kenzo takes hold of her wrist and yanks her closer while saying, “She’s an adult and has free will, Rachel. That’s something you have too. I will never stop someone from doing what they want to.”
There is something like physical pain on her face, but I can see Kenzo isn’t holding her that tight. Then my eyes widen as Mom lifts herself to him and presses her mouth against his.
Oh crap.
I only realize I said the words out loud when they pull apart and look in my direction.
Ugh. Busted.
Walking down the stairs, I feel super uncomfortable. I see Idris standing by the window where he’s keeping watch.
“How did you get here so fast?” I ask.
“We have legs, too,” Idris growls at me. When his gaze flicks to me, his features are tense with anger. “Do you know how fucking unpleasant it is to run with Rachel and Chance, listening to all the different ways they want to kill your stupid ass?” He takes a threatening step toward me. “I should do it now and save them the trouble.”
My lips part to say something when Idris’ eyes flick to somewhere behind me.
Oh shit. Chance.
When I turn around, it’s to find my mom glaring at me.
“If you have a death wish, just tell me,” she hisses. Her face is so close to mine I can see the tiny lines next to her eyes. They weren’t there before. “Tell me so I can kill you and put you out of your goddamn misery myself!”
I shove her hard, and she stumbles back. “This is what I didn’t want.” I’m too loud, so I take a deep breath to calm down. “I’m doing all of this for you.”
I glance at Kenzo and Idris. “Every one of you.” I lock eyes with Idris. “I don’t want to see any of you dead. You weren’t supposed to come. You were supposed to stay at the ward and let me do this.”
“We work as a team,” Idris snaps at me. “We die as a team.”
I have nothing to say to that, and my mouth goes even dryer when Chance comes out of the kitchen, his eyes burning with rage.
He grabs hold of my arm and yanks me up the stairs.
“Which fucking room?”
I point to my bedroom door. “On the left.”
Once we step inside, I move closer to the window while Chance leans back against the door. The expression on his face is nothing but grim.
It’s quiet for a while, and with every passing second, my stomach tightens more. I cross my arms over my chest, sucking in a fortifying breath of air.
Chance rubs a hand over his face, then walks to the middle of the room. He still doesn’t look at me. He glances at my dressing table and bed.
“I’ve always wanted someone who would match me,” he says, his tone deceptively soft. “I thought the person would have to be just as strong as me to keep up with me.”
He looks out the window, and my heart sinks. This is where he tells me I’m not good enough. I’m too weak for him.
“She wouldn’t know any fear.” He clears his throat.
I swallow, but it doesn’t help because the lump pushes past my throat and into my eyes, but I blink the tears away, refusing to cry.
“But, with you doing this, just taking off and trying to save all of us, I realized differently. I want someone who will depend on me as much as I depend on her. I want someone to watch out for me like I’ll watch out for her.” His eyes flick to mine. “I want someone who loves me, Jasper.”
He steps closer to me, shaking his head. “I’m not fighting this war just to stay alive. I’m fighting it so I can be with you, and I’d like to believe that’s how you feel too.”
Every word from his mouth is a blow to my heart. I can’t sacrifice hundreds, if not thousands, of people for the love I feel for him.
“What do you want me to say?” I whisper.
“I can’t tell you what to say or feel.” He sounds sad, and it tugs at my insides.
My gaze jumps to his, and the hurt in his eyes reminds me of when he lost Ethan.
“I can only tell you how I feel. I can only show you how I feel.” He looks out the window again. “Honestly, I’m fucking terrified I’ll wake up tomorrow, and you won’t be there. I’m scared I won’t get to touch you again. I’m scared I won’t get to taste you again.”
He takes a step closer, and his chest brushes against mine. His breath warms my cheek, then he whispers, “I’m hoping you’re just as scared as I am, and you want the same as me.”