“Yeah,” I agree. “We’re out here to gather wild grass for the wounded.”
When Idris and the rest of the group reaches us, Idris shakes Chance’s hand, then looks me over. “What? No hug for me?”
“In your dreams,” I sass him, but I’m so damn glad to see them all. “Where are the others?”
“Dead,” Valen answers, her voice bitter and filled with grief. “We barely made it out alive.”
It’s only then I notice the tears on her face. Ruth is pale as a ghost and seems to be in shock.
Aldric, Aaron, Jarek, and Jasper. They’re gone.
“We lost four men from our ward, and the wall is gone,” Idris says. “We came to help and regroup. Nothing’s holding them back from wiping us out.”
“Let’s finish up here and get our asses back to the ward,” Chance says.
We gather more wild grass until the bag is stuffed full, then start the walk back to the main ward.
I fall in beside Valen and whisper, “I’m sorry about Jarek.”
She shakes her head, her chin trembling, and I quickly wrap an arm around her waist to comfort her.
“He died so this waste of space could live,” she mutters while glaring at Ruth.
“We’ll hand her over to someone else,” Idris tells Valen.
“You better,” Valen bites out.
“I have a friend who can maybe help,” I mention. “I’m sure Dawn won’t mind taking care of Ruth.”
“Dawn?” Idris asks. “The beautician?”
“I’m not sure what that word means,” I chuckle.
“Yeah, it’s the same Dawn,” Chance answers.
“The fuck! She won’t take care of the brat. Dawn is coming with us,” Idris growls, picking up his pace. He looks at me again. “So she’s okay?”
“Thanks to Jai,” Chance says. “She kept Dawn alive during the attack.”
Idris raises an eyebrow. “You saved my girl?”
I let out a burst of laughter. “I’m glad you think she’s your girl.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
When the ward is in sight, I start to jog, and it has Idris yelling, “Jai! What did Dawn say?”
“That you have to deserve her,” I shout, hoping Dawn will forgive me for the tiny lie. Maybe if Idris thinks she’s not his, he’ll put in more effort with her.
With the remaining members of my outer ward, we jog to the park, and out of breath, I hand the bag to Dawn.
“Thanks,” she says, elbows deep in blood. Her eyes flick over my head, and she staggers back, a gasp escaping her.
Idris swoops past me and envelops her in a hug, lifting her off her feet. “Christ, I was worried,” he grumbles.
Dawn wraps her arms around his neck, crying so hard I don’t know if it’s from the relief of seeing Idris or the loss and trauma she’s suffered.
My chin starts to quiver, and when I turn around and see Valen’s tears, I let my own fall as I take her hand. I pull her away from everyone else and wrap her up in a comforting hug.
“We’re going to kill them all,” I promise her. “We’ll get our revenge.”
She nods, holding onto me as if I’m a life preserver, and I silently vow to end this madness, so none of my remaining friends have to die.
While Valen cries on my shoulder, my gaze touches on all the destruction, the wounded, the mourning.
It’s all too much.
Why did humanity survive the previous wars if we’re just going to continue killing each other until none of us are left?
I don’t understand it. I never will.
Grief hangs heavy in the air. It feels like it’s bearing down on my shoulders.
Every couple of seconds, I hear a woman cry or a man curse.
The ward took a heavy blow, and while everyone’s mourning their losses, I’m thankful most of my friends survived.
I don’t feel sad about Jasper and Aaron, but there’s a pinch in my chest for Jarek, and especially Aldric.
And Gerald.
Jesus, Gerald. He didn’t deserve to die like that. He was a unique soul, and I wish I had gotten to him sooner.
I peel the bulb of the wild grass and mash it into a mushy paste. My arm burns after a while, and I don’t even know if I’m doing it right.
Chance doesn’t correct me, though, so I continue.
“Time to eat,” Idris suddenly says. “Come on. Take a break.”
I’m surprised he brought us food. He shoves a plate at me and sits down with his own.
I wipe my hands on an old rag and shovel a bite of mac and cheese into my mouth.
We eat in an uncomfortable silence.
“I hear you went crazy and took out half the insensates on your own,” Idris mutters.
I glance up and find his sharp gaze locked on me.
“I had to protect Dawn,” I say.
And Chance.
And Raze.
I had to protect everyone.
He puts his fork down, and reaching across the table, he gives my arm a squeeze. “You did our ward proud, Jai.”
I don’t say anything, too stunned that he now sees me as one of them and no longer a newbie.