I’ll take it while I can.
I WAKE TO THE SOUND of my son’s gurgling. I shift, and the hot, hard body behind mine groans and rolls. Ace stayed with me all night, just like he said he would. I blink a few times, letting my eyes adjust to the morning sunshine flowing through the window. I sit up stiffly and peer over at Cody’s crib. I didn’t hear Jenny put him to bed, I must have passed out. He’s sitting up, shaking a rattle and gurgling to himself. Always the happy camper. I smile over at him, and, today, it feels a little less heavy.
“He’s a noisy little champ,” Ace says, sitting up beside me.
I stare over at him and realize he’s got no shirt on. Heat swells in my cheeks, not because I’m attracted to him, but because the entire situation just feels like I’m doing something wrong. Ace is gorgeous, but my heart belongs to Jagger, and he knows that. Is it truly a bad thing to let him make me feel a little better?
“I won’t bite,” Ace murmurs. “I swear. I’m not here to try and take you.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah, I know.”
“Do you?”
I can’t help but smile. “Of course, I’m out of bounds to all you guys. Don’t worry Ace, I won’t get horny enough to try and jump you. You’re not my type.”
He pouts like he’s offended. I smile for real now.
“Stop it,” I tease.
He looks over at Cody. “Don’t worry, I’d never try anything on you. I’d be in an early grave if I did.”
We both stare at Cody, who’s now looking over at us expectantly. No doubt wondering why the hell we haven’t come and gotten him out of his crib. He’s an amazing sleeper, which I’m thankful for. A bottle before bed and he’s out until the morning light. Such a calm, relaxed soul.
Sometimes, that is.
“He’s just like him,” Ace murmurs.
I nod, swallowing. “Yeah, he is.”
“Jagger would be proud of him, god, he always wanted to be a dad.”
“I hope he will get the chance to be.”
Ace gets out of bed and stretches, then leans down and fetches his shirt, sliding it on. He walks over to the crib and lifts Cody out. Cody squeals and grips the chain around Ace’s neck and tugs. His smile is huge as he gets to know the man that, just yesterday, was a perfect stranger.
“Tough little sucker, aren’t ya?” Ace laughs.
“He likes necklaces.”
“We’ll have to get you a hardcore necklace then, little buddy, won’t we?”
Cody drools in response. I slide out of bed and stretch. My body is aching from the pressure release last night. Crying is good like that. It’s good for the soul and all that bullshit. Whatever, it worked. Today is the first day in quite some time where I feel a glimpse of hope, like maybe, just maybe, things won’t be so bad.
“Hey, Ace?”
Ace turns and glances at me. “Yeah?”
“Thanks, for last night ...”
He nods. “Anytime, kid. Now come on, we’ve got a lot to discuss.”
I nod. “I’ll shower and be out. Are you okay to take him out?”
“Sure, we’ll go and drool on the other guys, won’t we, little man?”
Cody smiles that toothless smile and Ace laughs.
“Just like your dad you are, it’s scary.”
I walk over and kiss Cody. “Be nice to the big bad men, cutie.”
Ace rolls his eyes at me, and then disappears out of the room. A moment later Jenny walks in, her expression carefully blank. I feel bad for getting so angry at her last night, I guess I just reached that breaking point. I honestly couldn’t think clearly, and I took it out on her when she was only trying to help.
“Hey ...”
I smile. “Hey.”
“Ace stayed with you?”
“Yeah, but don’t worry, he was just being a friend. I’m grateful to him for that.”
She smiles. “Me too. Willow, I’m sorry ...”
I put my hand up. “I know what you were doing, Jen, and you were right. I’m drowning without Jagger, and if I don’t at least try to help him then I will never forgive myself. You did a good thing, I’m sorry I got so angry at you.”
She smiles weakly. “I don’t want to see you sinking, Willow. I couldn’t bear it.”
“Thank you for saving me, yet again.”
She smiles and steps forward, pulling me into a hug. We stand, holding each other for long moments before pulling back. I sigh and stare at the door, I know what I have to face today, I just don’t know how I’ll do it. Time to pull those big girl panties on and deal with this head on, I guess.
“Time to face the music,” I murmur.
“Do you think we have a chance of finding Jagger?”
“I hope so, I truly do.”
She nods, her expression is pained. “I hope so, too. I’ll leave you to shower. See you soon.”