My voice is bitter, but I can’t help it.
He nods. “Is he here?”
I nod. Turning, I open the car door and Jagger hesitates a moment. I lean in and unclip Cody from the car seat, pulling him into my arms.
“It’s now or never, little man.”
He smiles at me, completely unaware as to what’s happening around him. I force a smile back, and then I lift him out of the car. Turning, I face Jagger and watch as his eyes widen and his body flinches, it’s almost like a harsh jerk. He begins panting and his fists clench. I can see the fresh bruises on his cheek and some stitches in his lip from last night’s fight. He steps forward and Cody looks up at him. He smiles and drool runs down his chin.
A baby babble escapes his cute little mouth.
“Oh ... fuck.” Jagger breathes.
It’s silent for a long moment after that. Then Cody reaches out and grips Jagger’s necklace, and that’s it for me. I look away, swallowing back my tears. Come on Willow, get it together. You have to be strong for your son. Getting it together, I turn back and see Jagger is staring at me. Cody has a hand wrapped around one of Jagger’s fingers, and it breaks my heart. It just tears it right out.
“Do you want to hold him?” I grind out, trying to fight back my emotions.
Jagger nods, and I pass Cody over. When Jagger takes him in his arms, a tear stumbles down my cheek. I can’t fight it anymore. Cody touches Jagger’s face, and I wonder if he knows that somehow he’s important. Jagger makes a small sound in his throat as Cody continues to pull and stroke his face. I turn away.
“Can we just discuss what needs to happen?” I say, my voice scratchy.
Jagger turns to me, but I refuse to meet his eyes. I can’t let him see how much this is hurting me. I can’t.
“Boss, the choice is yours. You want our help or not?” Ace asks, stepping up beside me and taking my hand, squeezing it.
I take a deep, shaky breath.
Jagger pulls his eyes from my face and stares at the two men.
“Yeah, I do.”
I almost cry with relief.
“Good. We need to discuss it in private. How long have you got?”
“Two days. I have two days off. I always disappear during that time. Mick doesn’t question it. I always come back. He knows he has the upper hand.”
Two days. Two days with him. We get two whole days with him.
“Right.” Ace nods. “Willow, you good with him coming back with us?”
I stare at Jagger, and his eyes meet mine again. “It’s not really a choice, is it?”
I reach out for Cody, and Jagger turns slightly. “Can I hold him a minute longer?”
I nod.
“You want to take your car?” Angel asks.
“Nah, leave it here,” Jagger mutters. “No one will see it. I don’t want it followed.”
“Right, let’s go then.”
We all make our way back to the car. Jagger hands Cody back to me, and, once again, I avoid that gaze. He knows it’s affecting me, he knows it, and he’s doing it anyway. I strap Cody in and sit beside him. When Jagger slides in beside me, I stiffen. Shit, bad move. I should have rode shotgun.
“Don’t tense like that. You’re acting like I’m going to hurt you.”
“You mean like you threatened?” I mutter.
Jagger flinches, but he doesn’t say anything. I turn and stare out the window. The men all talk as we drive, but I don’t join in the conversation. My heart is heavy, and my soul is tired. I’m relieved that, for a minute, he’s with us, but I also know that could end and it’ll be hell on my heart once again. When we arrive at my house, Jagger’s eyes widen.
“You live here?”
“Yes,” I say simply.
He nods and slides out of the car. I get out after him and then go around to unbuckle Cody. I take him my arms and walk inside, not looking back at Jagger. I can’t. I feel like I’m going to be sick. When I get in, Ava, Jenny, Rusty, and Bull leap up from their spot on the sofa, where they have been waiting for our return.
“How’d it go?” Ava asks, her eyes wide.
When Jagger walks through the door, they all gasp. I keep walking down the hall. I hear hugging and mutters of happiness – of course they’re happy. He’s here. They deserve to be happy. Hell, I would have been happy too if it weren’t for him and Sharleen. I get into my room, close the door, and put Cody on the bed. I clamp my eyes shut and swallow down my tears. When he’s safe, I’ll be able to move on with my life. I have to believe that I can. I have to. A gentle knock sounds out, and I turn to see Ava step in the room.