That’s when Jagger’s eyes fall on me. His eyes widen. Surely, he doesn’t know it’s me? Maybe he’s staring at Danny? I glance at the man beside me, but he’s oblivious to it, instead he’s jumping around cheering with delight. When I look again, Jagger’s eyes are on mine. Does he know it’s me? How? I don’t understand. My confusion is cut off when I see Sharleen and my heart turns to stone. She rushes out and wraps her arms around Jagger, he hesitates a moment, and then he responds. He wraps an arm around her and presses his lips to hers.
Rage swarms in my chest.
White hot rage.
I look away, feeling my skin prickle. I thought I could handle this, I thought it would be okay but he doesn’t care a single bit about me and what we had. How could he? How could he just forget me like that? Is that all I meant to him? Danny grips my arm and pulls me close, not caring about my trembling lip. He wants his money, nothing more, nothing less, and he’ll not stop until he gets it. He leads me through the crowd to a small door, and I’m too hurt to hesitate. My entire body feels like jelly, and my brain drowns out the sounds of the crowd as we move.
“You have five minutes. Jagger will go out back to get ready for the next fight. He always gets ready alone. The blonde will stay out with Mick, she always does.”
Danny peers over the crowd, and, when he sees Jagger disappear, he shoves me through the door. I stumble into a dimly-lit room. I can’t see much, there’s a few lockers and a silver bench in the middle. A man is sitting on the bench, his head hung. I know that man, I know him as well as I know myself.
“Why the fuck are you here?”
He doesn’t look up.
He knows it’s me. He recognized me?
“How did you know it was me?”
He looks up and turns, staring directly into my eyes.
“Do you think I’d ever forget those eyes? I told you not to come back, so why did you? I told you what I’d do.”
“And I didn’t believe you,” I say, pushing my chin out.
He stands suddenly, reaching down into his bag, and before I know it a gun is being pointed at my head. I stare in shock. He’s panting, anger flashes in his gaze and it scares me. He wouldn’t hurt me, would he?
“Jagger ...”
“Get the fuck out of here. I don’t want you. I don’t love you. I wish you would get that through your head!”
Ouch. I put up my wall, straighten my shoulders and walk forward. I have to trust that the guys are right, and he’s only saying it to make me leave, that he wouldn’t hurt me. His eyes widen and he flinches, but he doesn’t lower the gun. When I’m standing with it pressed firmly to my forehead, I stop.
My breath freezes in my lungs.
“Do it,” I seethe, “you want to fucking shoot me? Do it. I have lived through hell, you would be doing me a favor.”
“Willow,” he rasps, “just leave. We’re done.”
“We are, yes, and I wish it were that simple. It’s not simple anymore, though. It hasn’t been simple for months. I wish I could just walk away, Jagger, I wish I could have just packed up and moved on. Maybe if it was just me, I could have.”
“What are you talking about?”
I meet his eyes and with a hard heart, I reach into my top and pull out a photo. A photo I hid in there, praying I’d get the chance to do this. I slam it against his chest. He lowers the gun, and his fingers brush mine as he takes the photo from my hand. Shivers run through me, but I shove them away. He unfolds the paper and stares, God, he just stares. I see nothing in his expression for the longest moment, but when he looks up at me, I see it. I see emotion. His eyes are glassy. His jaw is tight.
“His name is Cody,” I say. “He’s six months old and he’s your son. Do you really think I didn’t want to move on, Jagger? Do you think I wanted to live with the agony? Do you think I wanted to live without you? No, I didn’t. I can’t change how you feel about me. I can’t change your choice, but I can change my son’s life. You deserve to know. I’m not doing this for you, right now I want to hurt you. I’m doing it for him. You want help? You meet us at the wharf tomorrow at noon. If not, I move on and so does he.”
I turn and walk out without another word. I’ve said all that needs to be said.