He doesn’t let go.
“Not until you talk to me like a proper fuckin’ human. If I have to hold you here, I will.”
“There’s nothing to say,” I grind out. “I told you that.”
“And I called bullshit, remember?”
“Jagger, please,” I reply, ceasing my struggling and slumping against him. “I can’t do this. I cannot do this with you.”
“Why did you leave?”
His breath is in my ear, and my body responds in a way I wish it wouldn’t.
“I. Needed. Time.”
“You didn’t even give me a fuckin’ chance to talk to you,” he growls, fingers splayed out on my belly as he holds me there.
I want him.
This is torture.
“To say what? That you’re with your wife and it’s over? Excuse me if I didn’t want to hear those words after everything we’ve been through.”
“I deserved a fuckin’ conversation.”
“Sharleen’s still with you.”
It’s not a question. It’s more a change of subject.
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“It’s complicated.”
I huff.
“She’s my wife ...”
“I know that,” I growl, squirming again. “You don’t think I know that?”
“You need to give me time. I need fuckin’ time.”
“Let me go, Jagger. Please, just let me go,” I yell, jerking so hard he’s forced to let me go.
I shove to my feet, fighting back the urge to scream and cry, but mostly wanting him so badly I can’t handle the pain in my chest for a second longer.
“Can you leave?” I choke out.
I won’t cry in front of him.
I won’t.
“Why won’t you fuckin’ talk to me?” he roars, throwing up his hands as he launches to his feet. “Just fuckin’ give me a chance.”
I close my eyes. Remain calm. Don’t break.
“Just leave.”
“No.”
I open my eyes, and I can’t hold it in any longer. “Will you fucking get out of my house, Jagger? How dare you come in here and get angry at me because I won’t talk to you. I’ve been through hell and back because of you, and yet I gave you my heart. I fell in love with you, and you lied to me. You fucking lied to me. You can’t just come in here and demand that I give you time. Time for what? She’s your wife. It’s that simple. If you wanted me, you wouldn’t need time. No, I’m not here to wait around for your decision. So get the hell out of my house.”
I turn and angrily disappear into my room. If he won’t leave, I fucking will. I shut the door and lock it, pressing my back to the door and closing my eyes as tears roll down my cheeks.
He needs to leave.
Please let him leave.
The sounds of fists pounding on the door has me jerking.
“Open the fuckin’ door,” he barks.
I hold my breath, tears soaking my cheeks, but I don’t move. He tries again and again, banging until the door creaks and shakes.
“What are you doing, Jagger?”
Ava’s voice trails through the door, and I breathe a sigh of relief knowing she’s here.
“I need to talk to her,” Jagger growls.
“I told you she wasn’t ready. You need to leave.”
“Fuck me, Ava. You know nothing.”
“About what? The fact that you’re still living with that woman? You can’t expect her to wait around for you. She might understand that it’s not your fault, but that doesn’t mean she’s just going to jump into your arms while you decide. No. You don’t get that. You have done enough.”
“I’m not tryin’ to fuckin’ hurt her.”
“Leave,” Ava grinds out. “She’s not ready.”
Silence fills the room, and then I hear him speak again.
“We’re not done, Willow.”
A moment later, I hear the front door slam, and Ava knocks gently on my door, telling me he’s gone. I swipe my tears away from my face and then open the door to see her standing, her eyes filled with rage, but the moment they meet mine, they soften.
“Hey.”
“This fucking kills, Ava,” I whisper, and then my tears flow again. “I love him too fucking much.”
“I know,” she says, stepping up and wrapping her arms around me. “I’ve got you.”
Where the hell would I be without her?
FIND A JOB—IT SOUNDS easy, but it’s not. I walk up and down the main street for two days, asking just about every store for some work. I end up getting a job at our favorite café just down the road from my place. I didn’t think they were hiring, so I went there last. I wasted two whole days looking for a damned job and there was one right there waiting. I’m not much of a waitress, but for now it’ll have to do.
I can’t sit around moping forever. Eventually, I have to get on with my life. I don’t know exactly what it is I want to do, so for now this will at least cover the bills and give me time to decide what comes next for me. My father left me some money when he passed, and that paid for my vacation, as well as paying out my apartment and car. I’m grateful to him for that. I’m not entirely sure I’ve processed what happened with him, but that’s an issue for another day.