Then, just like that, he’s gone.
Leaving me even more confused than I was before.
I ROLL, TOSS, TURN, and eventually give up trying to sleep. I get up and flick the light on—Jagger still isn’t back. It’s two am and he’s not here, the worst part is I don’t actually know if he’s going to return. My heart clenches with a hurt that goes so incredibly deep. I can’t blame him entirely for this, because I have fucked up too. We’re both so broken, and he’s right, how do we fix that? I don’t know how to make that better, I don’t know anything right now. I do know that even through it all, I need to know that he’s okay. So, I text him.
W – Are you okay?
Then I text Ava and Jenny, both have been messaging me since the huge fight earlier.
W – I just want you both to know I’m okay, and I love you.
I send it off and then a message from Jagger finally comes through.
J - I’m at the bar. I’ll be back soon.
My chest tightens, but I can hardly blame him for going to the bar after tonight’s events.
I sigh and close my eyes, lying back in the bed and trying to get my mind together. I must drift off because I wake to the sound of the door opening. My eyes spring open, and I hazily look over to see Jagger standing in the door frame, staring at me. I can see in his eyes that he’s been drinking—he gets that faraway look. I don’t know what to say, I don’t even know how to make it better, so I just do what we always do, the one thing we don’t argue about. I get up, walk over, and I lean up and kiss him.
Toxic is the understatement.
We’re outright fucked.
At first he doesn’t respond, he just stands there. With a new determination, a deep desperation to feel something other than pain, I continue kissing him. I slide my tongue over his bottom lip, and I nibble his jaw. He makes a grunting sound, so I know I’m getting somewhere. He smells of whiskey mixed with Jagger, and it’s an intoxicating smell. I want to wrap it around me so I can wake up to it every day, I just want to forget. I pull back for a moment and stare up at him, he’s looking down at me with an intense gaze.
I reach for his shirt and gently begin pulling it over his head. He doesn’t stop me, but he doesn’t say anything either. He just stands there, silent. When he’s shirtless, I put my hands on his warm chest and slide my fingertips down it. When I reach his abs, I relish in the feel of them bunching and moving beneath my palms as I stroke them. It’s that movement that tells me he likes what I’m doing.
I step back before I take off his jeans, and I begin undressing myself. He stares at me with that hungry gaze, but he still hasn’t spoken or made any move toward me. He’s just standing in that spot, letting me work him over. So that’s what I do. I slide the shirt I was wearing over my head, and I see his eyes burn with desire when they fall on my breasts.
I reach down and grip my panties, sliding them off and tossing them at his feet. His eyes flare with lust, but he doesn’t speak. Damn this silence. When I’m standing before him naked, I reach up and let my hair down, and it tumbles down my back. Desire burns in his depths. I step forward and hook my thumbs in his jeans, pulling him forward.
He moves with me until we reach the bed, then he stops. I sit on the edge, so my face is now in line with his groin. I unbutton his jeans, looking up at him and feeling my skin tingle all over with the way he’s looking at me. The desire is there, burning and intense. I unzip his jeans, and then I slide them down his legs. Commando, Jagger never wears jocks, and it’s fucking hot.
I stare at the hard length in front of me, with its pinkish skin and throbbing veins. The picture of perfection. I take his cock into my hand and squeeze. He grunts and stiffens, but doesn’t make a sound, not a single fucking sound. Bastard isn’t going to moan for me, well, let’s see if I can change that?
I lean down and lick the head, sliding my tongue in small circles over the soft, taut skin. His hands are by his side, and I watch as he balls his good hand into a fist. He won’t touch me, he’s refusing to cooperate at all. Fine, I can play this game. I slide his length into my mouth and suck, he grunts again above me, but his hands remain by his side.