The thought would always make her uncomfortable, reminding her that she’d continued tojust stand thereas the years passed, staying with Tyler, excusing his behavior, considering marrying him.I’m complicit. I’m just as bad as he is.
He’d never treated her as badly as he treated other people, but he hadn’t exactly beenniceto her on a regular basis. He’d make cutting remarks that she always supposed he meant as teasing or fun, but they were always a little too close to being mean and insulting. If she expressed her irritation with it, he’d balk and accuse her of being too sensitive, toogirly.
Looking over at Liam, Sadie could see him wince at her response as he moved away from her to lie on his back, glowering up at the ceiling and letting out a loud, disbelieving sigh.
She pressed her lips together and looked over at his resolute profile timidly. “Are you disappointed in me for not recognizing you? For not thinking of you?” she whispered cautiously.
“Yeah, I am,” he admitted gruffly, not looking at her. “What happened was messed up, Sadie. Who just wipes something like that from their mind?”
“I didn’t say I didn’t rememberthe event;I’m just saying I– I….” Sadie faltered, and she suddenly felt overcome by her mistakes.
I don’t know how to explain myself. I never know how to explain myself.Agonizing self-pity pounded through her, and she closed her eyes tight as tears threatened to escape. But the tears weren’t the first to break free; it was the anger. At him, at herself, at Tyler, hell, at everyone.
“You're disappointed in me? Well join thefuckingclub,” she said, raising her voice a couple decibels. “I’m not perfect. I’m so sorry I was a shallow little girl who didn’t fall head over heels in love with you and just stood there while Tyler—” She cut herself off, tears welling behind her eyes at the thought of Liam lying motionless on the gym floor.
He didn’t say anything as she choked out a sob and turned over to face the window. He was completely still with the exception of shallow breaths. She wondered what he was thinking about.I wish he’d leave, she thought piteously.I just can’t think about this right now.
He didn’t leave, though. He inched closer to her until his chest was flush with her back, her ass resting in the crook of his body. They fit together so perfectly, and she couldn’t help but release a long sigh of relief at the sensation, the anger and regret dissipating a bit.
She had her long hair pulled back in a loose braid, and he reached his hand up to lightly graze her hair. She felt him move over her as his fingers lightly grazed her face, tracing her cheekbones and wiping away her tears. Sadie closed her eyes and rested into his gentle touch. Under his ministrations, both her tears and anger dried up, leaving her feeling spent and emotionless.
Okay, maybe he can stay.It was easy to forget about all the drama when they were like this, so easy and calm it felt like she was floating on a cloud.
She may have actually dozed off for a few seconds when she was startled by his low voice in her ear.
“We don’t have to talk about this right now,” he whispered resolutely. “I don’t think either of us is ready.”
He landed a kiss on her cheek. Sadie closed her eyes, absorbing the sensation of his lips on her skin before she turned over on her back and wrapped her hands around the back of his head. Her hands tangled in his hair as she pulled him toward her.
Opening her eyes, she looked up at his familiar face, his dimples and his deep brown eyes glowing in the moonlight, before bringing her lips up to his and pulling him down in a soft kiss. He returned it gently.
They lay like that for a while, their lips connected, until they naturally separated and Liam fell to her side again. Sadie felt like she might fall asleep as she turned away from him, his arm coming around her waist as his body moved flush against her back. She was drifting toward unconsciousness when she heard his voice, low and deep behind her.
“I love you,” he said.
She took a deep breath and relaxed into him, comforted at the feel of him, the sounds of his breathing. “I love you, too,” she responded. “But I think I need some time before we really tackle this. Finding out who you are … well, it’s brought up a lot of old memories. I need time to process. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” he answered gently. “We’ll talk when we get home?”
“Yes,” she said with a yawn. “When we get home….”
He didn’t say anything else then as he drew her closer into him, pulling her against him tight. Sadie relaxed into him as she felt consciousness finally slip away from her.
11
Sadie
Sadielookedwarilyatthe faces lining the room of Explore Lake Conrad. It was Annie’s birthday, and Ian had sent out a frantic group text two days ago inviting a handful of people over to his new business to have a surprise party.
Ian and Jake had set up their recreation business in a recently deserted art gallery in a prime location along Lake Conrad Square, the town’s bustling center. They were planning on launching in March, and the open space was in the process of being stocked with bikes, hiking gear, and other springtime recreation gear. Low leather couches and rustic tables were spread throughout the bright room, and it smelled like fresh paint.
Sadie sat alone on one of the couches, delicately sipping on a plastic cup filled precariously high with red wine. Ian had poured it for her, obviously with no idea what he was doing, before carefully handing it to her with a deep frown.
She tried not to sip it too quickly, although she’d like nothing more than to slam it as she took stock of the room. Annie wasn’t here yet, so they were all stuck in waiting mode as they milled about until Ian gave the signal that she was approaching.
Ian stood with Jake, staring through the window at the bright lights sparkling around the Square. Lena was in charge of luring Annie to the party under whatever pretenses she’d devised, so Sadie was sure that the two of them should be making their way across the Square soon.
A couple of her co-teachers crowded around Cole across the room, and he looked to be preening under the attention, his longish honey-colored hair slipping in front of his eyes and his tattooed arms flexing a bit as he presumably demonstrated how he held a guitar.