She seemed to move in slow motion, yet much too quickly as she passed by him without a glance. As she disappeared, he was left with nothing but a slight fruity scent and an empty, hungry space in his chest where his heart used to beat.
He was fourteen years old. Short and scrawny for his age, he’d been dreading the first day of ninth grade at a new school. It turned out that he’d been absolutely correct in dreading it.
He’d seen her hundreds of times when he attended school in Antelope Grove, though, and each time he looked at her, that hungry feeling never left him.
As he watched her play volleyball, moving around the court like a dancer, he lost his breath from where he sat in the bleachers.
When she incorrectly answered a simple algebra problem that a teacher had asked her, he wanted to push the desks aside and comfort her.
Even the last time he’d seen her in high school, while she’d stood silently by, her large blue eyes unfocused and dazed as her boyfriend pummeled the consciousness out of him on the floor of the high school gym … he’d wanted to shield her from what was happening; he’d tried to shout at her to leave and not watch. She’d listened to him, at least, running away to find a teacher for help.
In the months and years after that day in the gym, something had changed, though. His parents, so upset over the constant bullying, had transferred him to private school for the rest of high school. After the transfer, as he’d had the opportunity to grow more confident, the wonderment and adoration he felt for Sadie Sullivan faded to something else … bitterness and resentment.
By the time he’d reached college, he thought of her with nothing but embarrassment. He couldn’t believe that he’d fallen into the old cliche of mooning over the most popular girl in school. By that time, he liked to comfort himself with fantasies of her miserably married to that ham-fisted idiot, Tyler Carter.
His experiences in Antelope Grove ended up being a big reason why he went into school administration, hoping to put a damper on bullying before the kids got into high school and it became too destructive to contain.
As he continued to grow into adulthood and into himself, Antelope Grove and Sadie Sullivan became nothing but distant, embarrassing memories—nothing that bothered him too much. Although, he did make sure that none of his girlfriends over the years were blondes.
So, it was with more than a little shock and shame he’d felt that same hungry, lovesick longing when she’d walked into his office the previous summer. His assistant, Heidi, had introduced her as the newest first grade teacher hired by the school board, and his heart had fallen, landing with a thud next to the soles of his feet as he looked, mouth agape, at the face he was forever cursed to adore.
She hadn’t recognized him then, and she still didn’t recognize him after four months of working with him. He found this baffling and disconcerting. What kind of delusional person didn’t remember someone she’d been complicit in terrorizing for two years?
“Mr. Cohen.” Heidi's voice buzzed on his office intercom, interrupting his thoughts. “A reminder that you’ve got a faculty meeting in the library in five minutes.”
Bracing himself, Liam rose from his chair and walked through the front office, nodding at the front desk ladies with his usual benign smile.
He swung open the door of the library to be confronted with the low chatter of his mostly female faculty. He smiled at them in greeting as he weaved his way through the room where they sat spread out on beanbags, stools, and other flexible seating options.
The conversation stopped as Liam stood in front of them with the same smile with which he’d graced the front desk ladies. Looking out over the crowd, his eyes immediately zoned in on Sadie, and his smile dropped into something a little less neutral and a little more heated.
She was sitting next to Annie at a small table, her long blond hair gliding over her shoulders as she turned her attention toward him, her blue eyes flashing with a little bit of the anger she’d shown him on the beach this morning.
Was she still upset about that? He hadn’t meant to scare her, but….
To see her eyes light up with so much outrage on the beach, with the orange sky blazing behind her … well, it had been intoxicating. She never looked at him with anything but deference at work, and when they were kids, she’d mostly looked right through him. It had taken every ounce of will inside of him not to press her against the rocks and—
As their eyes locked, Liam’s thoughts came to a screeching halt. He took a deep breath and shifted his gaze to the other, less tempting faces in the room.
Clearing his throat, he looked down at the agenda Heidi had left out for him. “Hi, everyone,” he said. “Thanks for getting away to attend this meeting….”
As he continued discussing required trainings, new school initiatives, and updated county requirements, Liam made sure that as his eyes darted around the room, landing on safe spaces: gray-haired Elaine, who was going on her thirtieth year of teaching; Jane, the music teacher who was eight months pregnant; or Ben, the PE teacher. He had no problem maintaining his bland, professional resolve looking at any of them.
Basically, anyone other than his beautiful high school tormenter was fair game as far as both his eyes and his emotions went.
Looking at his agenda, he let out a deep breath when he saw the next topic for discussion.
“Ms. Sullivan,” he said, guarding himself before finally letting his eyes settle on her. “How’s the holiday play you’re planning coming along?”
Sadie sat up straight in her chair, shifting her wide blue eyes nervously around the room. “Good,” she said succinctly.
“Care to elaborate?” he asked, raising a brow.
“Well … um.” Bright red patches popped up on Sadie’s cheeks as she looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. “Maybe something that, uh, highlights different cultures … and how they experience this time of the year?”
“Are you askingmeif this is what you should do?” Liam asked, internally kicking himself.You’re such a dick.His high school self was smacking him on the back of the head for being such a tool toSadie Sullivan.
“No,” she insisted. “I just … I’m still figuring it out….” She trailed off, looking at Annie nervously.