“Do you think I am crazy?”
Aaliyah disagreed, “Why, because you feel something?”
“Because it’s Luke’s friend,” Cassandra reminded her.
“So what? I don’t think that matters. You can’t help who you love.”
Cassandra had to agree, and it made her feel better. Luke made it like it was all thought about ahead of time. It wasn’t. She hadn’t even been thinking of Steven when she first got back. It had just happened. Why couldn’t he see it for the innocence that it was?
“I wish that Luke felt the same way. I don't think he does though. I think that he takes it as me personally messing with him. He doesn't care that I have feelings for Steven. All he cares about is how it's wrong for us to be together. Not really that it's wrong, just that he doesn't want me to be with his friend.”
“It's because of Nelson, you know that. He never saw it coming, and you weren't around after you left. He was a mess. He was a mess for quite a while, and if Steven hadn’t been there, I don't know what would have happened. Steven means so much to him.”
Cassandra told her friend that she was making her feel worse. Aaliyah told her that it wasn't her plan to do so, but somebody had to tell her the truth. “Your brother really did take it hard. It was a betrayal to him, and it had a lot to do with how Nelson just ran off in the night. He figured that he should have told him the truth, that he deserved that.”
Cassandra scoffed, though she did feel bad. She always had. She’d ran because she hadn’t known what to say. Nelson wanted to go as well, said he was whether she came or not, so Cassandra hadn’t felt like she had much of a choice.
“So, I'm just supposed to forget about Steven and everything that's gone on between us because he's friends with my brother?” Cassandra asked with panic in her voice. She didn't like any scenario where she didn't get what she wanted, and what she wanted was Steven.
Aaliyah pressed her lips together and Cassandra’s heart sank. Why couldn’t just one person agree that she should be able to have her way?
“You don't think I should tell him, huh?” Cassandra asked, defeat in her voice.
“It depends.”
Cassandra looked at her friend and asked her what it depended on.
“Do you have any intentions of staying with him? Because if it's just a fling that the two of you are having, then nobody needs to know about it. All it would do is cause problems. But, if it's something else, like the two of you being together for a while, then obviously you're going to have to tell your brother. If you don't, he'll find out and feel betrayed all over again.”
“You're right, I do have to say something to him because I want what's going on with me and Steven to be permanent. I really like him, and I think I might even be in love with him. I don't want to walk away from that. It's really the reason that I'm thinking about it to begin with,” Cassandra confessed.
“Well then, you need to tell him,” Aaliyah stated the obvious. It sounded so simple, but Cassandra knew that it wasn’t that way. She knew that it was going to be a lot.
“You're right. I told Steven that I would say something to him, but I am chickening out.”
“I'm not going to say that I know your brother as well as you do, but I feel like if you're honest with him and just tell him what's really going on, then he will be okay with it. You just have to give him time.”
Cassandra wanted to believe that Aaliyah was right. “Sounds like you know Luke well enough. Are you going to tell me what's going on with you two for you to understand him so well? And don't tell me that it's nothing because I know nothing, and this is definitely not it.
Aaliyah smiled and said that there might be something going on between the two of them, but she wasn't quite sure what it was. Cassandra told her that she was happy for her. She was still of the mind that her friend and brother would make a good match. Her brother might be ruining a great thing with Aaliyah just because of his own hang-ups.
The two women went out together and had a good afternoon. Cassandra was just happy to get away from everything that was going on. It felt too complicated sometimes, and late at night, Cassandra wished that she had fallen for someone else. It would have made life easier. If she would have fallen for anybody except her brother’s best friend, everything would have been easier.
It was only after Cassandra and Aaliyah parted ways that Cassandra started thinking about the task at hand. She had to tell her brother something that she certainly didn't want to do. Luke was not going to take it well. She could imagine that he would understand, but she knew better. He was not going to take any of it well. Even though Aaliyah had almost convinced her that it didn't have to be the end of the world, she had a feeling that it would be. It was a horrible feeling to have that sickening lump in her stomach, but what else could she do? Aaliyah was right, she had to say something.
Chapter 39
Steven
Since Nelson was dying to tell his secret, Steven was of a mind that it would be better if he went to him first. He had to tell Luke that he had broken his promise. It was probably the last thing that he wanted to do. Steven had always been a man of his word and when it finally counted, he had messed it all up. He was very aware of his failure, and admitting to it was not going to be easy.
When he tried to get ahold of him, he was busy or something because he couldn't get an answer when he called. Of course, Steven was relieved, even though he knew it was something that had to be done. Having to do something and wanting to do something were two very different things.
So instead, he went to talk to Cassandra. She had told him that she didn't have too much work, and he was hopeful that she would be able to give him some time. She worked a lot, but so did he, so Steven saw that as a good thing. It was inconvenient sometimes now when neither had much time and he wanted to see her immediately. He didn't really date the few women that he would see on occasion. The ones he did date, would always drop what they were doing to give him what he needed. It was a whole different power dynamic when it came to Cassandra. It wasn't that it was good or bad, it was just different.
He tried sending her a text and she didn't answer, so he just passed by her house on the way to his. He was hoping to see her outside or her son. He needed to see her, talk it through and not seeing her was alarming in how quickly it felt like it was affecting him.
When he got to her place, he pulled into the driveway because several lights were on, and he just knew that she had to be home. Cassandra was the type that didn't walk around with her phone all day, so there were many times where it would be turned off on vibrate or not even in the same room as her. This meant that sometimes she missed calls, and Steven was hoping that she wouldn't be put off that he had just dropped by. They were still dancing around with each other, trying to figure out where they would end up. He was still trying to manage it.