“The couch, why would you be sleeping there?” Luke asked, his disbelief was hard to deny.
Cassandra’s insides flooded with relief because that meant that he hadn't looked on the couch. She gave a story of how she couldn’t sleep alone in the bed after being with Nelson for so long and how she couldn't stand it, so she went to the couch instead. It was believable, at least believable enough because her brother acted like he knew what she was talking about. Cassandra asked her own question, trying to throw a wrench in Luke's master plan, whatever that was.
“So, I haven't talked to Aaliyah in a little while since you guys went out and left together. What's going on with the two of you? Did something happen?”
Cassandra knew immediately that it was the perfect question, because the look on her brother's face was priceless. While he liked to keep her on edge, apparently it wasn't that hard for her to do the same. She didn't care as much though, not really. She didn't think she did. Maybe she was just being extra understanding about it because Cassandra wanted him to be understanding about Steven.
“You know, I do think the two of you would make a cute couple.”
He scoffed and told her that it was nothing like that. “We're just friends. I would never date your friend. It would just be weird.”
Cassandra had to agree. She didn't really have another choice. She was thinking about Steven and how he had tried to break up with her and how she had no idea where they had ended up. They had great sex, but they had great sex before, so that didn't really mean anything. Whatever was going on, Cassandra was looking for a distraction. Her real life was a doozy, and she couldn't deal with it right now. It was easier to deal with other things.
“What are you doing here, Luke? You have been popping by a lot lately,” Cassandra commented blandly.
“I wanted to let you know that I know what's going on with you and Steven.”
Cassandra shook her head and said that there was nothing going on. Her brother had been thinking there was something going on long before there actually was. She didn't know what Steven had told him, but she wasn't going to assume anything. It felt like she was being setup.
“There is nothing to tell you because nothing has happened. I actually have to get out of here soon. I am meeting Nelson to talk about the divorce. I need to get ready before I leave.”
“I will go with you if you want.”
Cassandra waved him off and told him that was fine. She didn't want to spend the whole day with Luke. Things where really weird between them and the last thing she needed was for them to have a long period of time stuck in a car together. That did not feel like it would end well at all.
“As much as you and Nelson get along, I don't think that would be a good idea.”
Luke smiled and agreed with the sentiment. “If I am completely honest, I don't want to be anywhere around that guy. I just want to make sure that you're going to be okay.”
Cassandra waved him off and said that it was nothing to worry about. She wasn't interested in what Nelson had to say anyway. She certainly wasn't afraid of him. Lately he had been sending her messages of how he wanted to get back together. Cassandra really wasn't down for that either. At the end of it, all she wanted to do was move on. The sooner she could get the divorce final, the better off she would be.
“I do worry about you. You seem to have a knack for falling for the wrong guy.”
If Cassandra was honest with herself and defensive, she would agree with the sentiment. It seemed like every time she turned around, she was getting her heart broken. The last one though, was a doozy, and she was still trying to get over it. It was also a situation that she could say nothing about and had no one to share it with. It was even weird talking to Aaliyah now, because she didn't know what was going on between her best friend and her brother. If she told Aaliyah, would he suddenly know? There were just too many questions with not enough answers, and Cassandra pressed her lips together in worry.
“What did he tell you?” Cassandra wanted to know. She didn't know why, what she expected, but just the idea that the two of them were talking about anything like that really got to her. Why did her brother think that it was any of his business?
Luke said that it wasn't important, and it just made it that much more important than it was before. He wasn't going to tell her what was said. It was well enough. She told herself that it didn't matter. After a few more awkward moments, Cassandra convinced him that she had to get ready, and he told her that he would see her later. Cassandra would be the first to admit that she was not looking forward to it. So much energy was put into keeping her relationship with her brother, that she had to wonder if it was worth it at all. So many things she had to give up because of his rules and insecurity. Wouldn't it be easier and better if she could just do whatever she wanted, and her brother could get over it?
He left and Cassandra tried to focus on what she had to do next.
Chapter 34
Cassandra
Meeting up with Nelson after not seeing him for so long was awkward. It wasn't just that it had been a while for the two of them, it was possibly because she was finally moving on. Nelson had always maintained that he wanted to stay together. She was the one who couldn't forgive, and in a way, it was her fault. Several people had said so, because she wasn't able to forgive and forget. She was told that marriages were working things out and many people believed that she should have forgiven Nelson. Cassandra just couldn't find it inside of her to do so.
Seeing him was definitely awkward and different. He wanted to talk about the good old days, how happy they had been together, and Cassandra just wanted to move on. They needed to make decisions about all of the stuff that they had together. That's what the relationship had turned into, a bunch of stuff that they now had to fight over. She was not looking forward to it to say the least. Cassandra just wanted the chapter to be over and to move on to the next. Anything had to be better than the life they had made together. She had thought she was happy at one time, but it turned out that it was all just a lie. How could she be happy if it wasn’t even real?
When she finally got to the meeting spot, which was a local diner that they went to quite often, she should have known that he was feeling nostalgic. He ordered her a mint milkshake, something she hadn't had in years, and it was waiting for her when she got there. There was no telling what it was supposed to mean, and Cassandra tried not to read into it too much. Besides, just because he was feeling nostalgic, didn't mean that she was.
“Damn, Cassandra, you look good. It’s good to see you,” Nelson told her as he stood up to hold the chair out for her. It was outdated and a little strange, as was his dress shirt and khakis. He never dressed like that. He was trying to do something, acting a certain way, but she was clueless as to what it all meant.
“I wish I could say the same thing. I was hoping that we would have the divorce done by now. I didn't realize there was so much stuff to fight over.”
Nelson grimaced for a moment, and it was like he really didn't want her to bring up the fact that they were getting divorced. Nelson wanted to live in a fairy tale where they were still happy together. Cassandra could not go back. She didn't want to either. Now that she knew the truth, it was liberating. She'd always felt like there was something missing in their marriage and now she didn't have to stay in that strange feeling marriage any longer. She of course had not needed a reason to leave, but if she had, there were plenty of reasons now.
Cassandra just wanted it to all be over. She wanted to be absolved of her trespasses and she wanted to feel happy again. Cassandra didn’t have to live the half-life she’d been living. Cassandra was ready to move on to bigger and better things, whatever that was.