If only it were that simple.
He wasn’t running. Instead, he was running away.
Anneke.
He was running away from the truth. From what he must give up—-
Anneke.
The pounding became too much, and he found himself skidding to a stop as he struck his chest repeatedly and willed his heart to stop goddamn beating like it was on its last dying moments.
He could still make it. He would still make it.
Anneke.
He clumsily reached for the phone inside his pocket. Anneke’s text message still remained unanswered.May I attend your father’s funeral?
Marcus fell to his knees.
Anneke.
The one girl that he could never hurt, and now more so than ever—-
If he thought he didn’t deserve her before, now he knew that he could never do anything to change that. He wouldneverdeserve her.
His sweet, beautiful paragon didn’t deserve someone like him—-
Marcus forced his fingers to type the end to his dreams.
No.
****
THE FIRST FEW MONTHSfollowing the loss of Anneke were hell, and when he found himself seriously thinking about losing himself in drugs Marcus knew he was in too bad a shape to do things on his own.
He signed himself up for rehab, asked a trusted friend to recommend a therapist who actually knew what she was doing, and it was through this that Marcus met a young woman named Jaike Hepburn.
Both of them were being treated for childhood trauma, both of them having BDSM parents who had cared more about their sexual gratification than their children’s sanity. Most of all, both of them were terrified of following in their parents’ footsteps, and it was this bond that became the root of their friendship.
Jaike was the only Sub Marcus had come to like and respect, and unlike with Anneke, she was one he genuinely wished to be friends with. When they met years after and an opportunity to marry Jaike had come up, Marcus had seized it without hesitation. With Jaike, he would have a shot at normalcy. With Jaike, he could put an end to all of his foolish hopes about one day getting back together with Anneke. He might never forget his summer temptress, but if Jaike was his wife, he also knew that he respected his friend too much to be unfaithful to her.
It was a good plan, and Marcus had genuinely looked forward to the possibility of spending the rest of his life in peace—-until Jaike realized that she still loved her ex-fiancé. And so she had left Marcus, and he had understood. In Derek Christopoulos, Jaike had found someone who made the darkness inside of her beautiful. It was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and while Marcus could easily find it in himself to be happy for his friend—-
He had also known that his one chance of escaping his personal abyss was lost to him forever.
Or so he had thought—-
Until Anneke had come back into his life.
It had been his grandmother’s funeral this time, and watching her walk past the doors had made Marcus think that his life had come to full circle. Death had torn them apart once, and now death was bringing them back together.
Did it mean that he would have to die, Marcus had wondered grimly,before she left him?
If so, he intended to live forever.
Nine years had passed since they had last seen each other, and he found her even more beautiful now, achingly so. With her blue eyes firmly trained on the floor, Marcus had all the luxury in the world to study her, albeit surreptitiously. Her curves were even more voluptuous now, and Marcus found himself remembering things that he had no business remembering—-
The delicious taste of her mouth—-