He watched her take the USB, and an invisible noose started to tighten around his neck once more.
When she asked if she could check on it alone, the selfish, cowardly part of him wanted to sayno.He had to be there, in case she decided she no longer wanted him and he had to keep her from running away.
But in the end he managed to swallow back the instinctive words and nod simply instead. “Whatever you want.”
Marcus watched her walk away, and his blood turned cold. Time started ticking, but he told himself he couldn’t lose hope. He had to believe she could love a man like him.
****
ANNEKE DIDN’T KNOWwhat to expect when she saw the video files stored in the USB. A couple of scenarios ran through her mind as she clicked on the first file. Could it be something about the other woman? Perhaps it was his history as a Dom? But when the video started to play, Anneke was bewildered when she saw a young Marcus seated behind a desk instead.
From behind the camera, a disembodied voice said, “Start from the beginning, Marcus.”
“He asked me to go inside their bedroom.”
The young Marcus’ face remained expressionless as he continued with his story. The details were horrific, and by the time Anneke realized he was talking abouthis own parentsshe wanted to throw up.
God.
Oh God.
Why?
She forced himself to watch one video after another, and the tears started to fall as she saw Marcus grow from boyhood into adolescence and finally adulthood, and all the while shadows of the past lurked in the darkness of his eyes.
And in the final video, it was between Marcus and a priest, and his confession was all about her.
Padre, forgive me for I have sinned. My wife is an innocent – but I almost dirtied her with my own hands.
When she returned to the living room, she found Marcus with his head bowed, his hands in such a tight clasp his knuckles had turned white.Marcus, Marcus.She wanted to call out to him, but she was weeping too hard for her to speak.
When his head suddenly lifted up, she saw the fear in his eyes—-
Fear that she couldn’t accept someone like him—-
And she nearly slid to her knees.
Pain engulfed her, but it was all for him.
All for him.
“Oh, Marcus.”
He whitened.
“W-why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was afraid.” His voice was toneless. “I didn’t know if I could bear it if you found me repulsive—-”
“Never,” Anneke said brokenly.
“Or what I’d do if you’d look at me with pity—-”
“I’m not,” Anneke whispered shakily. “I’m not pitying you—-”
“Yes.” And this time, Marcus’ tone was bitter. “You are.”