Something inside her started to shrivel, but she told herself this was for the better. This was normal. This was how it should be, between people like them.
“I never want to see you.Do you hear me?All this talk of emotional shit isn’t for me. It never was, so stop fooling yourself. I’m not the kind of mother you want me to be. And you’ll never be the man you’re pretending you could be.” Raquel hit theEmergencybutton behind her. “Now get out! Leave!Out!”And even as the nurses filed in, she didn’t stop screaming the words.“Out! Out! Out!”
Marcus walked away.
And for one moment he felt alone—-
It was almost like that night he had been a boy, locking himself in his room, unable to fathom how his world could turn from beautiful into sickeningly terrifying in a blink of an eye.
His mother’s words echoed in his brain—-
You’ll never be the man you’re pretending you could be.
Pain threatened to rip him apart, but Marcus forced himself to hold on to the only lifeline left to him.
Anneke.
Even if his own mother didn’t want him—-
Even if no one else wanted to him—-
He had to believe that he wasn’t alone because he had Anneke.
Eight
It was on Anneke’sthird day in Bruin Hemel when the butler informed her that a car was coming up the driveway. She wondered numbly how he knew where to find her, and decided a moment later it didn’t matter. They had to talk sooner or later, and now was a good time as any.
All sorts of emotions struck Marcus as the butler allowed him entry. There were memories everywhere he looked, and nowhere more so when he finally made it to the room where he first met her when she was nineteen, dressed in her PJs, and her eyes swollen red after watching reruns of her favorite teen drama.
Even with Anneke partially turned away from him as she spoke to the butler, he could see from the stiff set of her shoulders and the way her lips were trembling that she was remembering the exact same thing, just as he also knew that the memories weren’t bringing her any joy.
They were hurting her instead, and Marcus drew his breath, realizing at that moment just how much things had changed between them because of that blasted article.
When the butler left, Anneke invited Marcus to take a seat without meeting his gaze, and as soon as he was seated she asked him if he wanted anything.
You.That was what he wanted to say. That was what his heart wanted. But he managed to swallow the word back and go with something more natural.