Marcus turned to Anneke, asking hoarsely, “Did you not have fun at all?” The rare unevenness in his voice didn’t stun him at all, but he could see that it shocked her, and he would’ve laughed if the look in her eyes weren’t hurting him like hell.How to make her understand she was his world?
“I’m sorry,” Anneke whispered. She wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for, only knew she had managed to hurt him. “And I did have fun. A lot. It was—-” A smile wobbled over her lips. “It waseasilythe most fun I’ve had—-” And her eyes became glassier. “Ever since you left me.”
Ah.Dio.“Anneke—-”
She shook her head vehemently. “No. It’s my turn. And youhaveto let me say this.”
The words made him realize that she had known all along what he had been doing, taking command of the conversation the entire night, and his lips twisted in a humorless smile. How many times must he remember that Anneke was the exact opposite of all the other brainless bimbos he had dated before her?
He said tautly, “Say it then.”
She swallowed hard. “I wasn’t lying when I said I had fun.”
He still didn’t allow himself to breathe, knowing she had yet to make him bleed—-
“But Marcus—-” Her voice caught. “It just won’t work.”
And she did.
“Please stop this.Please.” When her voice wavered, he swore, and she flinched.
“Anneke—-” His hand clenched and unclenched. He wanted to hold her so damn bad, but he had yet to earn the right to do so.
“I need you to back off.” She settled her hands on the steering wheel as she spoke, feeling an absurd need to hold on to something.
“And if I can’t?”
“If youdon’t—-” Anneke’s wheels tightened around the steering wheel. “Then I swear to God, I’ll turn myself into a slut—-”
Marcus whitened.
“I’ll sleep with the first man I see, and I won’t care who he is, what he is—-”
“Accidenti!”Marcus’ fist slammed against the dashboard so hard it was a surprise the material didn’t crack under his strength.
“I’ll let everyone do me,” she went on doggedly, “all at the same time—-”
“Stai zitta!” Shut up!The images her words invoked had Marcus’ entire body shaking with rage. “Do you hear what you are saying?”
“Yes.” Her voice was toneless. “And I mean every word—-”
“Basta—-”
“You leave me no choice.”
“Dio, Anneke.Why are you doing this?”
“Because I know that, despite all your faults, you’d never allow yourself to be the reason of my downfall—-”
Marcus asked sickly, “Why would you do this?”
Because I don’t have the strength to push you away.
“Do you hate me so much?”
She answered brokenly, “Yes.” And her heart wept, because of course it was the opposite that was true. She should hate him. After what he had done to her, oh she should hate him, with all her heart.
But she didn’t.