December 24, 1819
Christmas Eve Ball
Hawk tugged at the bottom of his waistcoat of red satin embroidered with silver swirls and snowflakes. It had been an early Christmas gift from the staff of Ravenscroft House, and each time he caught his reflection in the looking glass, the gift humbled him all over again.
He struggled into the black tailcoat, and as he did up the silver buttons, he admired how the jacket clung to his shoulders and chest. At least he would appear at his best advantage for the widow tonight. Once he’d donned the cuffs, collar, and cravat, he slipped his feet into his recently shined shoes.
“Well, that is the best I’ll manage to look,” he told Mathieu, who’d perched on the top of a bureau. When the cat meowed, he shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine as to how your mistress will react.”
A discreet knock on his door accelerated his heartbeat. “Come in.”
“I hope I’m not disturbing your last moments of calm before you go down, Captain, but I wanted to see you before you did.”
“Ah, Mrs. Peters.” He grinned at the housekeeper. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Which is odd, for not even on the eve of battles did I feel such butterflies.”
“Such things are natural.” Her footsteps made no sound as she closed the distance between them. “However, you clean up well, so that’s a start.”
“Thanks to your gift of the waistcoat.”
“It was Mr. Bearing’s idea, truth to tell. He said a man with a new waistcoat would garner enough confidence to do anything.”
“Ah. I shall remember to have a word with him later this evening.”
“He would be pleased with that. We all consider you as one of the family.” With a tsking noise, the housekeeper brushed lint as well as a few stray cat hairs from his jacket. “No inviting the cat upon your shoulder tonight. The ballroom is no place for the feline.”
Mathieu meowed as if he were personally offended.
“Understood.” Hawk chuckled and glanced at the cat. “Sorry, boy. You’ll have to wait up for me.”
The cat meowed again and jumped down from the bureau. Without a backward glance, he moved across the room and then slipped into the corridor beyond.
“How you’ve managed to steal his allegiance from my lady is anyone’s guess, but then, the cat has always been a good judge of character.” She looked over the tops of her wire-rimmed spectacles at him. “Why are you worried?”
“What if I make a cake of myself in front of her while on the dance floor?” It was but one concern that gave him a fitful sleep last night.
“While I would like to console you and say you won’t, a man who is nearly tip over tail for a lady is bound to do something embarrassing while in her presence.” She laughed when he stared. “But you are suave enough to save the day, Captain, and she will be so impressed with your dancing skills that nothing else will matter.”
“I hope that is true.” Needing something to do with his hands, Hawk fussed with the knot of his cravat. It hadn’t been a sophisticated choice, but would she think it too simple? “Where is the viscount right now?” He hadn’t seen Ravenscroft at dinner for the past few nights, which had been fine with him. The man was a pompous arse, yet if he found that treasure before they did, there would be hell to pay all around.
“I believe he is escorting my lady into the ballroom as we speak. They will open proceedings with a waltz and then the remainder of the night will be busy.” She checked a time piece pinned to her bosom. “Speaking of which, I need to go down myself and supervise before Mr. Bearing becomes, well, over-bearing.”
His lips twitched from amusement. “Of course.” He laid a hand on her arm. “Thank you again for what you and the others have done on my behalf. I feel as if I’m only pretending to fit into this world after being away from it for so long.”
“We only wish for you to find happiness, Captain. And peace.” Sadness reflected in her eyes. “I suspect you have spent far too many years doing things for others while neglecting your own needs. It is my fondest hope those will start to come home for you tonight.”
His chest tightened with emotion. “You barely know me.”
“Oddly enough, the moment people meet someone like you, they feel as if you have always been there. They feel a sense of connection, of belonging, of protection when you’re around. Don’t discount that.” She patted his cheek. “Perhaps it’s time for you to let yourself get close to someone, to enjoy the familiarity of a family, and know that we are all hoping you and Lady Ravenscroft make your engagement official.”
Heat rose up the back of his neck. “I don’t know if—”
“Hush, Captain. You might be able to lie to yourself but never to me. You are ready to settle down and you have your sights set on my lady, no matter that you hide those feelings behind your true reason for being here.” She patted his arm again. “Sooner or later, that position will no longer be there for you, but she will. Choose wisely when you finally step into your future.”
Damn. I’ve been a fool, for she’s right.
“I don’t know what to say that is equal to what you have given me, so I will only say you have my deepest gratitude.” There was much he owed the people inhabiting the halls of Ravenscroft House that he couldn’t begin to repay them. He blinked away the gathering moisture in his eyes. “I suppose I should make my way downstairs.”
“You should indeed.” The housekeeper’s eyes sparkled. “Enjoy yourself tonight, and if I don’t see you before midnight, happy Christmas.”