“Said he’d be back by ten tomorrow with this whole thing sorted out.”
“Sorted out, how?”
“That’s the bit I don’t get. I swear, I’ll never understand him. I thought I was getting through to him, that he wanted to make this thing work but tonight he’s been colder than I’ve ever known him.”
“He’s probably stressed.”
“Then he should talk to me about it. That’s what you do when you care about someone, right?”
“I get the feeling he’s doing this to protect you.”
“To protect me? How is this protecting me? I feel like shit.”
“And how much worse would you feel if he stayed the night, helped Jasmine get breakfast?”
“I’d feel great.”
“And what if he gets shot tomorrow? How would you feel then?”
The idea hits me like a punch to the gut. “I’d feel awful.”
“He’s keeping you at arm’s length in case it all goes wrong.”
“You think?”
“What do I know? I’m not an expert. It’s just as possible he’s emptied out the vault and that was his way of saying goodbye.”
“That’s not particularly helpful.”
“At least it won’t be long before you find out. He said ten tomorrow, right?”
“Right.”
“Then we see Jasmine to preschool and we sit together to see how this thing pans out. But if he does come back with all that cash, you’re paying for Pizza Fridays for a while.”
“I guess I could spring to that but you’re getting a medium. No extra large on my dime.”
“We’ll see.” She squeezes my shoulder. “Get some rest. See what happens tomorrow.”
I say goodnight and then check in on Jasmine. Fast asleep. No idea her father was here. That he might never be here again. She’s only met him once. Will she ever see him again?
I want to imagine a future where we’re all happy together but I can’t do it to myself. It would hurt too much if it was taken from me.
I tell myself it doesn’t matter what he does, that I coped fine for five years, I can cope a lot longer without him.
It’s a lie but I need it if I’m ever going to sleep. I lay in bed in the dark with my eyes open, replaying the events of the last couple of days. I can’t close my eyes. Every time I do, I’m back five years, walking away from the house. The blow to the back of the head. Mom falling to the ground. Me thinking I’m going to die.
I’m alive because of Angelo. He saved me but he didn’t save them. He was supposed to steal my fortune from me. Who is he? A good man? A bad man? A killer? A father?
I don’t have any answers but I have a headache bad enough that I have to go to the bathroom and take some pills to try to deal with it.
I climb back into bed and close my eyes, trying to think of anything other than that night years ago. Will I ever get over it?
I think of Jasmine. Of the smile on her face whenever we have pizza. The laughs when Eileen pulls those faces. The way she jumps with excitement whenever Cara comes over with a batch of cupcakes. That’s what matters. My daughter. Not Angelo. Not the money.
As long as Jasmine is safe, nothing else matters. That thought gets me to sleep. Eventually.
Chapter Twenty