‘Hi, darling,’ he says, kissing me on the cheek. I can see him clock Elliott’s hand in mine, and he meets my gaze and raises his eyebrows. I’m desperate to play it cool and not give anything away, but I can’t help a small smile forming at the corners of my mouth, which I know he picks up on straight away. He’s always been able to read me like a book, and frequently teases me that I’d make a terrible poker player.
‘Dad, this is Elliott,’ I tell him, dragging Elliott forwards.
‘Delighted to meet you, Mr Beresford-Smith,’ Elliott begins, releasing my hand and holding his out nervously.
‘Call me Barry,’ my father smiles, wrapping an arm around Elliott’s shoulder and guiding him firmly towards the drawing room, where my mother is waiting.
‘Elliott, this is Lisa: my wife and Sophie’s mum,’ Dad tells him.
‘A pleasure to meet you, Elliott,’ my mother tells him, before turning to Margot, who has silently followed us in.
‘Margot, tell Donald our guests have arrived, will you?’
‘Yes ma’am,’ Margot replies and retreats, closing the door behind her.
‘So, Elliott,’ my father continues. ‘My daughter informs me that you’re the genius behind Nutsy the Squirrel.’ Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Mum shooting me an inquisitive look, so I smile and give her an almost imperceptible nod. She replies with an equally discreet thumbs-up.
‘Yes sir, umm, Barry,’ Elliott replies, still looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
‘I think you’re terribly clever,’ Mum adds, turning her attention back to him. ‘I can’t get my head around these phone apps. One of Barry’s drivers installed a parking one on mine for me, but I can’t work it out at all, so I either get Gerald to drive me or I just take my chances.’
‘And how is that working out for you?’ I ask her, with a smile. Mum wears her many parking tickets almost like a badge of honour.
‘Four tickets last month,’ she replies. ‘One of them was terribly unfair, though. I only stopped for five minutes.’
‘Rubbish,’ my father counters. ‘It was fifteen minutes and you were on a double yellow line! We challenged it and they sent the CCTV footage. They had you bang to rights.’
‘Yes, well,’ she huffs, ‘it was still unfair. It’s not as if I was the only person parked there.’
Dad turns to me, looking exasperated. ‘The other car belonged to a blue badge holder,’ he explains. ‘Anyway, Elliott isn’t here to learn about you single-handedly funding the local council. Sophie tells me that Nutsy has done very well, but you’re not sure where to go from here. Is that right?’
‘Yes,’ Elliott replies.
‘Great. Let’s have a chat after lunch. In the meantime, you’d better tell me all about your intentions towards my daughter.’
Elliott immediately blushes crimson.
‘Leave the poor boy alone, Barry,’ Mum scolds. ‘Don’t worry, Elliott, he’s playing with you. He thinks he’s being funny.’
‘Sorry,’ Dad tells a mortified Elliott. ‘It’s just my way. Why don’t you tell me a bit about your background and how you came to be in this fascinating predicament?’
‘I’m afraid my background is very ordinary, Barry. My parents lived in council accommodation in Orpington. In fact, my mother still lives in the same house that I grew up in. My Dad moved out when I was three, and we haven’t seen him since, so it was just Mum and me for most of my life.’
‘Nothing wrong with that,’ Dad assures him. ‘Lisa and I both grew up in council flats in London. I think you might find you and I have more in common than you think.’
I watch transfixed as, over the next hour or so, my parents very gently grill Elliott. It’s so subtle that I doubt he knows what’s going on, but I reckon they manage to squeeze more information out of him over lunch than I have since I’ve known him. I learn that he adores his mother, who obviously made a lot of sacrifices to ensure she could provide him with everything he needed while he was growing up. He’s tried to buy her a nicer house as a mark of gratitude, but she refuses to move, saying that all her friends are around her and she’d only be lonely. He does make regular deposits into her bank account though, for which she scolds him, saying she doesn’t need his charity. She knows about Nutsy, but not how much money Elliott has made from him. To quote Elliott, she’s just pleased that her boy is doing okay particularly after Nikki pretty much took him to the cleaners. It’s obvious that there’s no love lost there.
‘What a charming young man,’ my mother observes after we’ve finished our coffee and Dad and Elliott have disappeared into the study. One other side effect of the conversation over lunch is that Elliott has finally started to relax, so I hope he’ll be able to talk openly and frankly to Dad now.
‘Isn’t he?’ I agree.
‘How long have you two been an item?’
‘Umm. Not long. Since yesterday, actually, although we only made it official this morning. I’ve known him for a while, though. He lives in the flat opposite mine.’
‘I’m glad for you,’ she observes. ‘He certainly seems a more promising prospect than the last one.’
‘We’ve only just started seeing each other! It’s a bit early to be talking like that, Mum.’