I sighed and subsided onto the table, because the cacophony of hurts and the residual memory of his fingers inside me, those were occupying my brain, swarming in and layering the pain with that exquisite feeling that was more than pain.Endorphins. Fuck yeah.
“I won’t swear,” I murmured. And here was the other half of my love of kink. There might have been three halves…
“Michelangelo could not do better. You’re wetter than when I started on you, Charity.”
“Mmm?” I roused from the buzz of pain and pleasure. I heard him move against the table then felt the jar. I turned my head to the side, resting my face on the table. He was lying beside me. Starting at my nape, he ran his hand slowly down my back, caressing me, fingertips circling the needle embedded just above my butt. I jiggled my legs, smiling, as he ended the path with his palm on my ass.
“Hi,” I said softly, spaced out but happy.
“You’re okay?”
I closed then opened my eyes. With my ear to the table this was so like being underwater. “Yes.” I had thickness in my throat. “Very yes.” I smiled.
“I see you like this, and you’re perfect, more perfect than I had hoped. It’s been a long, long time since I found a lost girl I really wanted to keep.”
“Me?” I popped up my eyebrow.
“You.” His mouth moved as if he was about to smile. “Those sounds you make, even the way you wince, and still you get wet and aroused. I cannot ask for more.”
Entranced by his words, spaced out on the heated, pulsebeat of my blood and how it resonated with my core, I ran my tongue out and left it between my lips. A thought slinked by and reminded me that being a good fuck, or a good masochist was not enough.
He raised his hand to brush away hair from my temple. “Do you like Cassius?”
I nodded, and my hair rustled on the desk.
“I do too. He’s problematic and I’m not sure if it’s solvable.”
What an odd thing to say. I roused from my fog.
“Not solvable? What does that mean?”
“Forget I said it. This is my worry, not yours.”
I panicked for a second. If there was a problem, it would be to do with Jacob. If the doctor asked me if I knew anything about that, whatever I said might mess things up for Cassius.
“Please. I really do like him, a lot.”
“Okay.” He nodded to himself. “Noted.”
“Why don’t you smile more?”
“I’m just tired. I’ve seen a lot in my life. You and Cassius have given me a fresh view on life.”
That…had to be good?
“You don’t want me to dive where I was?”
“Not precisely true. You’re an adult, so I expect you to have ideas about what you want to do. You want to explore, and I’m okay with that.”
“Huh?” I frowned. He’d lost me there. “It is okay to swim alone?”
His rules were so changeable I was getting whiplash.
“I’d prefer you didn’t drown. Okay? I have a gift for you, tomorrow. We’ll go to the beach, and you can try it. It’s a secret, for now.”
“So…if you tell me not to do something, I can ignore you?”
Now, he smiled. “At your peril, but you can.”