And kept somewhere. I prayed it was so. Those things were still mine.
“How kind of them. Not.” I swallowed the sad lump in my throat. I didn’t bother saying,how dare they.
“Yes.” He glanced sideways and let his gaze drift down my body all the way to the leaf litter under my bare feet. My short yellow dress suddenly seemed too short. I tugged at the hem, as if I had anything worth concealing from this doctor. “You asked for books to read. Like the ones in your bookshelf?”
“Why are we talking? Are you going to help me? Please?” Thepleasewas dredged from somewhere deep, unwillingly. It was wise to say that word but,ugh, it made me feel dirty. Dirtier than my smutty writing ever did. “You can’t keep me here forever. You just can’t.” I imagined myself at one hundred and two still wistfully looking at this wall, while hanging onto a walking frame.
They had done terrible things to me, or their business associates had, and they were still doing them. I held the pulse of anger and resentment inside, balled in my chest, vicelike in determination.
Don’t fuck this up.
“They can. I have an offer. If I were to free you…”
Finally, I let myself hope.
“If I do, it will be on my terms, and you will never be allowed to leave where I place you without my consent. I’m still considering if this is worthwhile.”
My hope burned.
“Worthwhile? Fuck you,” I blurted.
I cringed as soon as I said it.
He gave a harsh sigh, bordering on exasperation.
I was a fool. Still, this was impossible. The tears had started again, my nose was running, and I had a bizarre wish to blow my nose on his shirt. To hell with kissing ass.
I glared at him.
“Be patient, Charity.”
My jaw muscles tensed as I clamped my teeth.
“Okay.” I exhaled. “I’m being patient. Go on.” Even going to wherever it was he took me had to be better than here? It had to be. Ineededit to be.
Plus I would try to escape. Here was tightly controlled.
“Trust me.”
“Huh?” I frowned, as he held out his hand to me.
He uncurled his fingers, showing his palm. “Put your hand here.” His much larger hand waited above where mine rested on my leg.
“I don’t know you well enough,” I whispered. He’d stuck a speculum inside me. It wasn’t the same, somehow. “You’re a stranger.”
“Considering you’ve spread your legs for me—”
“That is your profession.”
“True. I’ll tell you some facts.” He withdrew and instead rested his arm along the back of the bench, turning to face me fully. “I am a member of the CNC Fraternity and not just the doctor for them. I have unusual kinks, and I know you know what happens there, from Emme.”
I gulped and wished he hadn’t seen the movement of my throat. I dropped my focus to the slats of the bench. His hand had seemed scary and powerful, weighted with unknowns. Maybe where he would take me to wasn’t safer than here? Maybe I should stay and wait to turn gray?
“When I asked you to free me, this was not what I meant.” I stared at my knees, as if they knew the answer. The dumb-ass things gave me nothing back.
“It’s what you get.”
“You’re trying to discourage me?”