I rechecked the ceiling and the floating specks of sunlight were reflections from the frosted glass shade outside the bedroom window.
Not the same room as in my dream.
Which meant we still hadn’t talked.
I’d zonked out last night, hadn’t I? The shower with the men while they talked and soaped me up was memorable but then I must’ve brushed my teeth and afterward was hazy. I’d crawled into bed and snuggled between them while they played chess on the wall screen. I sat up slowly, letting the sheet slip off my breasts and upper torso. To either side of me, the men were still asleep. Cassius was snoring.
So much for his military experience, I thought wryly.
Trying to not rock the bed, I slid off at the foot end—carefully, due to the dressing over the brand—then went to the bathroom.
When I returned, the doctor was awake. He eyed me as I tiptoed to the bed. I halted, smiled, and he said nothing. He only pointed to the now non-snoring Cassius, as if to sayshhh.
I shrugged and slipped onto the bottom of the bed, ready to crawl back into my spot.
“I’m fuckin’ awake, you two.” Cassius rolled over, yawned, then hauled himself into a sitting position. “Time?”
“Almost six AM,” I told him, pausing, and sitting up on my heels. “Are we going to have that talk, soon?”
A little morsel of panic arrived in the region of my heart. Was I pushing too hard?
The doctor went up on his elbow and gave me this quizzical look that exploded the possibilities in my suspicious mind. Was he trying to tell me something?
I was ready, though. I needed this done. I couldn’t live any longer in a limbo of misinformation, mystification, and silence. I didn’t crawl further up to the head of the bed. It would be too easy for him to grab me and make me shut up, turn me on even, pretend he only wanted to talk about sex…whatever.
I perched on my heels, naked though I was, and opened my mouth to speak.
“You want to talk,” the doctor said.
“Yes. Are you ready to do this?” I raised my eyebrows because giving him an out was polite and instinctive. I sat with my hands clasped in my lap, my naked lap, feeling terribly vulnerable. It was possible all my deductions were completely stupid.
“What is this going to be about?” Cassius looked puzzled. “You two seem to be talking in another language.”
The doctor pulled himself higher and patted the bed beside him. “First. Up here, Charity.”
“I’m staying here for now. Safer.”
“Really? Okay. Stay there.” He looked from me to Cassius and back. “You’ll have to allow me some leeway and some time, Cassius, because I am never ready for this.”
I thought that through, fast. “You’ve done this before then?”
“A few times. Most of my lost girls had a talk, but not all.”
“Is this…is this partly about what she found on that dive?” Cassius opened his hand. “If it is, I’m listening. I know how to absorb info and not jump in too soon.”
Except on the beach that night. I chose not to say that. It wasn’t relevant.
“I have to know I can trust people first.” The doctor nodded at me. “It’s that and other things. I’m never sure, almost never am I sure, completely.” His voice had trailed off.
He was delaying.
“Maybe I should start? I can say what I have figured out.” I looked at the quilt next to my knee and drew pretend squiggles. The distraction calmed me. “It’s possible I’m way off base. If so…” I inhaled deeply. “I will look dumb. But hey, if you’d rather I say stuff first?”
I looked at the doctor. He pursed his lips.
“I should start with my own confession.” I hoped that Cassius would follow my lead. “I was spying on you for Jacob. Well, I was supposed to, but I never sent him anything directly.”
He said nothing, just popped up one eyebrow and gestured for me to continue.