I shake my head. “I can’t lie to him.”
“Why? I don’t want you there. He isn’t going to love you. Just look at you.”
Those words. Those same words my mother used to say to me. She used to blame me for my father leaving us. I wasn’t loveable because “look at me.” But what’s wrong with the way I looked?
My mouth parts, my breathing turning shallow, the pain burning a hole in my heart.
I don’t answer; the words won’t come out. I turn and move slowly to the register, and I pay for the shirt on autopilot. Walking out of the shop, he stands there with the biggest, warmest grin, and I could cry.
He wants me, but she doesn’t, and I can’t get in the way. And I don’t want to be hated. I’ve had a lifetime’s worth of it. The memories still try to creep into my life, and I don’t need venomous words thrown in my face by a thirteen-year-old.
I stand beside him, waiting for her to come out.
I stay quiet.
“How did she go in there? Did she find anything?”
Her mouth moving was all she was doing…But I don’t say that. Instead, I say, “Not yet. I paid for my top and left.”
A few minutes later, she steps out of the store with nothing.
“You didn’t find anything?” he asks kindly.
“No. There wasn’t anything that I liked.”
Who is this girl? Definitely not the same one who talks to me. My back straightens with hurt and anger.
“Are we ready to go?” he asks us both with his smile on, his eyes bouncing between us.
She grins back.
I wish I hadn’t said yes now.
“Great. Let’s go.” He turns, and I follow along, holding my new purchase tight.
We arrive at a cafe with a ten-page menu. Forgetting where I am, I say, “This menu is huge. I can’t decide what to eat.”
“I think you need the salad,” Aria says.
“Their Cobb and steak one is superb,” he suggests, not realizing his daughter is having a stab at me.
“Hmm,” I pretend to deliberate.
“I think I’ll get the burger and fries,” I say with a grin. I like my food. Sorry, no salad being ordered today, kid.
Her gaze is fixed on me, and I feel it, but I don’t look. I’ve had enough shit for one day. There’s only so much I can take.
“I think I’ll get the same,” he mutters and closes the menu.
“What? You’re ordering a burger and fries?” Aria exclaims.
“Yeah, why not? Sounds good. Right, Gracie?” he says with a cheeky grin.
“Sounds great.”
Aria grumbles.
We order, and I sit back.