He shuffles in his seat and leans forward slightly. The wide smile is tighter and his face even. “It really is, but I need you to hear everything.”
“You’re open to dating me, even though you have no work/life balance?”
“I don’t want to repeat my first mistake again. I promised myself I wouldn’t if the right person came along, and that person is definitely you. I think we have fun together and I’d love to date and see where this could go.”
Chapter 16
Gracie
Thewaymystomachis rolling with nausea, I’m scared I’ll actually vomit. The nervous energy is all coming from the thought of him having a thirteen-year-old and what that means for me.
I’m not someone who dates and then the one that I do has baggage. The ex-wife isn’t an issue; she has moved on, and has a new life, but they share a child, and now me dating Marc would involve her.
How would she treat me? Would she like me?
I just don’t know if I even want children, but what if I do?
The way I grew up…an unpleasant shiver runs down my spine.
My family life was hurtful and cold, and then the streets with Ava were rough. I don’t know if I want to bring a little piece of me through life. It’s not always easy. But taking on someone’s child isn’t something I thought I’d ever have to worry about. He’s also thirty-eight, so maybe he doesn’t want to have any more kids, and then where does that leave me?
“There is a lot for me to think about…” I trail off and pick up my drink to take a large sip.
“So where does that leave us?” he asks, and it pulls my eyes from the food to his gaze. His expression is tight and pained.
But I need to be honest.
It’s not always easy to tell the truth, especially when they wear a face full of pain and they beg you to be with them. Sometimes you need to be selfish to look after yourself, to take some time to think to make a proper decision without any clouds of judgment. He deserves a confident decision, and I deserve to give myself time to make the right one. If I am going to commit to him, it’ll be without reservations, and I’ll give him all of me.
“To be honest. I can’t date you while I still need to think about what I want in my future.”
His lips thin, and I think he is going to protest, as most men would.
“Even though that saddens me, because I wish I was part of your future, I want you to be sure about being with me. Because it involves Aria too.”
“Exactly.”
The nausea lessens, and I offer a small smile to him. His eyes are sad, but he smiles back.
We eat in silence, and when we finish our drinks, he asks if I’m ready to go. The heaviness in my eyes tells me I need to sleep soon.
“That would be great. I’m exhausted.”
“I’ll fix up the bill, and I’ll walk you home.”
“I’ll pay.”
“No,Bella. I’m a gentleman. I pay.” His deep gravelly voice saying my nickname makes me tremor.
I nod, not wanting to argue. “Thank you.”
Afterward, we walk outside and it’s chilly, so I fold my arms over my chest.
“Let me walk you home,” he offers.
I shake my head. “It’s out of your way.”
“It’s dark, and you’re alone in a new city. Please, let me do this.” I turn to capture his gaze, and his eyes are pleading as he says, “Just humor me and let me do this.”