“You don’t look so good,” he said.
“You didn’t see her go down,” I muttered. “I doubt you’d be so calm if you had.”
“Which was why we weren’t supposed to be there,” Knox pointed out.
“Fuck off. Like I was going to let her risk herself and not be there to help. What if the guards had gotten too rough? What if they’d tried to kill her?” I shook my head. “I wasn’t going to just let that happen.”
“You have it bad, don’t you?”
I snorted. “No idea what you mean.”
“Do you think if you keep saying that, it’ll suddenly make it true?”
“It is true.”
A tap on my hand made me drop my gaze to where Knox poked at me. “Your nails are shifted into claws. That only happens when you’re on the edge.”
“I’m a berserker—I’m always on edge.”
“Yeah, but not like this. I have to wonder if you just don’t recognize the feeling or if you’re lying to yourself.”
I wanted to tell him it wasn’t true, but I couldn’t. Maybe it was because of what I’d watched with Hera, but completely dismissing how I felt about her struck me as wrong. What if something happened? What if I never saw her again? Did I really want to pretend she meant nothing to me now?
“I should have done this part,” I whispered. “I should have never let her take this risk.”
“She isn’t helpless. Despite how she looks sometimes, Hera is tough. She can do this.”
I blew out a slow breath but nodded. I didn’t know if I agreed or not, but I had no choice. We’d set the plan in motion, and we couldn’t change it now. Hera would go to the North Tower. She’d have to take out the communications area there, then Wade would take care of the security system, I’d destroy the generators, and finally Knox would secure our exit.
I couldn’t second guess anything because the plan required us all to do our parts. If we didn’t, it would fail, and we’d all pay the price.
“You succeed last night?” I asked to try to distract myself.
He nodded. I’d expected a grimace, some sign of unhappiness as he recalled what he’d had to do to get the key. I’d known he had planned to meet Nisha, to go to the roof with her. I doubted she’d hand the key over out of the goodness of her own heart, after all.
However, none of that came. An almost serene smile crossed his lips.
Just before I could ask, the doors opened again, but this time it was what I’d hoped for. Or rather, what I’d waited for…
Hera lay on a gurney, her wrists bound together in mitts that covered her hands. Her head tilted listlessly to the side, her eyes closed, the drugs no doubt still keeping her knocked out.
I tightened my hands into fists, trying to ignore the roar of anger in my head, the desire to run over there. I could take out the guards who had her, steal her away, not let her go on with this insanity.
Then what?
I released my hands, ignoring the warm wetness from my nails digging into my own palms.
I had to let her go, had to trust her. All our lives depended on it.
So I watched as they took her through the doorway, across the bridge and to a place I couldn’t follow.
I’d never prayed before, never saw a reason to, never expected, if there was some god out there, that he gave a damn about me. Still, I closed my eyes right then and begged whatever deity might be listening to watch over her. The most precious thing to me to me in this whole fucked-up world had just gone somewhere dangerous, somewhere I couldn’t follow.
Don’t let this be the end…
Chapter Seventeen
Hera