I swirled the whiskey in my glass as I sat in the dimly lit room. Why was it that drinking alone in a room was so depressing?
The dichotomy of alcohol always struck me as odd. If drinking with friends, it was seen as social, as a happy thing. When done alone, however, it transformed into something incredibly sad.
Though, it wasn’t as though drinking with others was an option for me. Who exactly was I to have a drink with?
The guards who hated me? The shades who hated me? The Warden who was far too fond of me?
Hera?
That name made me sigh as I took another sip of the surprisingly smooth liquor. I still couldn’t break that connection with her, the leash she seemed to hold on my thoughts.
Even after she’d seen what I was, what I’d done, she hadn’t cast me away. She hadn’t reached out to me since, but that was fine. It wasn’t as if I needed to see her every day.
Though I would like to…
I growled at my own wayward thought. It was dangerous and pointless. Wanting things was a quick trip to sorrow—nothing more.
I wished alcohol worked on me, that it numbed my thoughts the way it would for most humans and shades. I would have welcomed that blurring of my far too lucid memories. Instead, my only relief came from the burn as I swallowed the strong liquor.
“Kit?”Hera’s voice stopped me. When I lifted my gaze, I found a shimmering vision of her in front of me.
Ah, that’s right, our connection.Hearing her voice should have clued me in on that.
“I didn’t expect you to reach out to me like this again,” I admitted.
She’d slept many times after that first night when she’d been in Medical, but she hadn’t tried to speak to me in this way again. The first time was no doubt an accident, caused by her stress and the newly formed bond. After that, the bond functioned more like a doorway that a person had to choose to walk through.
“I need your help,” she said.
That made me go still, a feeling so close to fear in my chest. “What do you need?” I asked, ready to do whatever she requested.
Which I refused to think about too much.
“Can I talk to you like this even when I’m awake?”
I nodded. “It isn’t as clear as this, but yes. It is more like an ability to send single thoughts, like a message rather than a conversation.”
“How?”
“Just as you do when asleep. You need only to reach out through that bond between us, to feel those threads, then push the thought to me. Why do you need to do that?”
She tore her gaze away, as if she couldn’t bear to look me in the eye while she spoke. It made me dread whatever horrible idea she’d come up with…
“I need you to pass a message to someone.”
“Again, I ask why.”
She blew out a breath and started to pace. Her feet made no sound against the floor, of course, since she wasn’t physically there. “I can’t tell you that. I need you to give a message to Wade, tomorrow. It’ll be an easy message, but it needs to happen as soon as I send it.”
I struggled with my response. I wanted to say yes immediately, to be her rock, to help her. She relied on herself too much, too unwilling to lean on others. The other part of me wanted to tell her hell no, since I had no doubt that I’d dislike what she wanted. What if the message endangered her? What if it was part of a plan that would end up getting her killed?
“You expect me to do this without knowing why? Without understanding what it is a part of?” I asked.
She nodded, then stared back at me. “Yes. I’m sorry to ask you this, because you’ve already done so much for me, but I can’t tell you why.”
“Because you don’t trust me?” The words hurt even as I forced myself to ask.
She didn’t answer right away, as if trying to decide. Finally, she sat down on the couch beside me, an odd thing since without a true physical form she didn’t move the cushions at all. “That’s not it. I trust that you wouldn’t hurt me or betray me, but you also have other priorities, other things to think about. I don’t want you to risk yourself, so I don’t want you involved.”