I frowned, because he’d said okay. What exactly did he thinkokaymeant?
The smile he offered me had strained edges. “I’m not turning you down. I just want to be upfront. I want to do this right, to make it…special? I don’t know exactly, but I know I want to do it right. I don’t think we need to go all the way today…”
The phrasing made me pause as it sank in, and I couldn’t help it when it made me laugh. Despite making no real sound, the laugher must have been obvious, because Wade pouted.
“Laughing at a man when he’s naked is cruel, you know?”
I pulled my hand from him so I could answer.“It was just cute how you phrased it.”
“Oh,sure,that makes it better! You’re laughing at my awkwardness and lack of experience. You know what? Fine! We’ll have sex right now, and you’ll be sorry.” He reached for me as if to prove a point.
I swatted his hand and shook my head.“No! Now I want this romance you’re talking about. You can’t get out of it.”
“Nope, sorry. You wanted to laugh at me, now you’ll be lucky to even get foreplay. You can call me a one-pump-chump and lament later about how terrible it was, and it’ll be all your fault because you couldn’t control your laughter.” His words were brash, but his teasing smile let me know he was playing with me.
And it made me fall for him all the more. Even with Wade nervous, even with him having no experience, he always looked out for me. It was so different from every other relationship in my life, ones where we lived in the moment, where we gave in to whatever we felt because we didn’t believe in the future.
Instead, Wade thought about tomorrow. He thought about how we would feel, about what he wanted, what he wanted to give me.
And that was far more attractive than I’d thought. Sure, Brax was all aggression, and Deacon was confident and possessive, and Knox was all experienced seduction, and Kit was—I had no idea how to finish that thought, so I let it go.
But Wade? He was sweet and honest and real.
That had me shifting closer until he gave in to the kiss I knew we both craved. He wasn’t as hesitant as he’d been at the start, weeks before when we’d shared our first. He’d grown in confidence since then, so when I stroked my tongue along his bottom lip, he let me in.
He tasted like mint, making me suspect he’d used the mouthwash in my bathroom before coming in here. The little gesture made me want him more, made me appreciate him all the more. He was always thinking about me, never about himself.
I slid my leg over him so I shifted into his lap, then set my hands on his shoulders. I drifted my palms down his chest, finally able to touch him like I’d wanted for a while. His body was lean but firm, with little fat and no large muscles. Only the towel sat between us, and I could easily feel just how interested he was despite the limits he’d set.
He set his hands on my hips, the touch hesitant. The blanket had slid down so nothing covered me, nothing hid me from his view. Then again, he’d already seen me in the shower, so it wasn’t as if anything was a secret.
Still, the stroke of his hands was like fire against my heated skin. He moved them down over the outsides of my thighs, the touch light as if he were nervous. I shivered at the sensation while he ran his hands to where my knees spread around his hips, then back up to my waist.
He broke the kiss, but I didn’t have time for disappointment. He pressed his lips to my jaw, then to my throat. I let my head drop back, exposing myself to him.The touches slowed until they petered out.
I pulled back, suddenly self-conscious. I didn’t feel that often anymore, maybe because Larkwood didn’t allow people to put their best side forward. In my old life, I always dressed so well, never let people see me when not perfect, but that wasn’t me anymore.
However, as it turned out, being naked and in the lap of a man they loved could make anyone doubt themselves, especially when that man put the brakeson. I peered into his eyes, easily reading the hesitation there, the fear.
I let out a sigh and pulled out of his lap. I couldn’t blame him, couldn’t get upset with him. If he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready. That didn’t change the way he shook my confidence, however.
“Hera,” he whispered as I lay down in the bed again. Despite his original plan for us to go out, I no longer had any desire to do that. Everything Wade had held back with that passion between us crushed against me again.
I shook my head and pulled the blanket around him.
I expected him to leave, to want the distance and time to think over it all. Instead, he got beneath the blanket with me and pressed against my back, the warmth of his body like a cruel joke. How could someone be so close yet so far away at the same time?
He ran his fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry. I don’t blame you for being frustrated with me, but I just want this to be right. I can’t give you what you want, not right now, but I can at least keep the world quiet for you for a while.” He pressed his lips to the top of my head before he wrapped his arms around me.
So I let him silence the world for me. Too bad his skills didn’t silence the thoughts that crashed around in my head as well.
Chapter Eight
Hera
I frowned as I watched the woman lean into Knox’s space and twirl her hair around her finger.
It made me wonder if I looked that way when I talked to him. Did I look that desperate? Was I so obvious?