She wrote on the pad, which sat on her lap so she didn’t need to turn or move it for me to read.“I can stop if you want.”
“Didn’t ask you to stop—just figured with how you were reacting, this wasn’t a great idea…” I paused, then all but whispered the rest, “especially with me.”
“I just need to relax, to feel like I can close my eyes for a minute.”
“And you feel like that with me?”
She didn’t nod, but maybe we were more alike than different. Neither of us wanted to admit there was anything but anger and sex between us. Even still, she closed her eyes and before I knew it, she’d drifted off.
I let her rest, and after I was sure she’d fully fallen asleep, I lifted her carefully. She fit against my chest so perfectly, her body lighter than I’d expected. I was so used to dealing with fighters, with larger people with incredible strength, that it felt strange to hold her.
Her body was so much softer, so much more fragile than I’d realized. We’d had sex, so I’d seen this body, felt it, but holding her when she wasn’t even awake was different. It felt like an odd trust between us that I never would have expected.
I tucked her into bed, pulling the covers over her. She rolled toward me, all but curling around my hand as if, even when asleep, she didn’t want to let me go.
And why did that melt me? Why was it that I didn’t want to go, that feeling needed like this, feeling trusted, I struggled to go?
I let out a sigh and gently pulled my hand free. She needed rest, and I needed to deal with Kit.
We all had our places…
* * * *
Kit
Brax heading my way with that look in his eyes signaled trouble. If I were just anyone, just a young shade living my life, I’d have turned in the other direction and run just as fast as I could.
I wasn’t young, though, and while Brax was no doubt a formidable enemy, he didn’t frighten me.
Nothing did, not anymore. Whether that was due to my being sure I could handle anything or that I just didn’t care, I didn’t know. Perhaps I was too far gone, too different to feel such things anymore.
However, we couldn’t have the conversation I was sure he wanted to have here, in the middle of a common area. I gestured for Brax to follow, and it seemed he had the good sense left inside him to do so.
We remained silent as we went down the hallway and to a large room made for evaluations. I had access to it whenever I needed, and assuming Brax lost control of his berserker rage, it was best to be somewhere we could avoid any real damage.
I shut the door behind him after he stormed past me. The edges of his face had sharpened, a sure sign he struggled to control himself.
Ah, to be young like that, to feel things so deeply.
“I assume you’re here about Hera?”
His blue eyes brightened, telling me I’d guessed right. Then again, it wasn’t a hard shot to take. We didn’t have many things in common, many things to put that sort of anger on his face. “Why would you do that?”
“She asked for help. Given how you trail after her, I would assume you’d understand why I might agree.”
“If she wanted to do something stupid and dangerous, I wouldn’t help.”
“She had good reasons for what she wanted. It was her choice in the end.”
“Hera doesn’t know how this world works. She still lives in some fancy little corner of it. You know better, though, you’ve been here long enough toknowhow this works. Do you just get off on the idea that she got to be awake and aware while she was tortured by thosefucking assholes in Medical? Is it just some twisted kink for you?”
A sting in my chest surprised me.Is that upset? Guilt?
“Maybe it wasn’t even about her—maybe you just wanted to trick her into that bond,” he went on. “She wouldn’t ever consider shit with you without it.”
That was a fair point.
It would have been dishonest to claim I hadn’t craved that connection, that I hadn’t wanted to feel her bound to me. Despite us not communicating beyond that one dream, I still felt her on the other side of that connection.