I liked to push people, to test boundaries. When things didn’t go as I wanted, when others got in my way, I went harder. It was a fucking miracle that when faced with the terror in her expression, I drew back.
Hera had shown flashes of fear before, butneverlike this, and never directed at me.
She ran her tongue along her bottom lip, then shuddered softly. After another moment, she mouthed“sorry”then opened the door to her room with trembling hands and went in.
She didn’t invite me in, but I didn’t wait for an invitation either. We didn’t have the sort of relationshipwhere either of us asked for anything from the other. That sort of bullshit was for people like her and Knox, or her and Wade.
Us? We were far too twisted for that.
I closed her door behind me. “You okay?”
She nodded, then reached for one of her writing pads. She didn’t use them often—really only with me—so she didn’t always have them with her.
“Did you need something?”
I peered at the oddly polite words. “I wanted to check on you. Didn’t know I needed a reason to see you.”
“I’m not up for...”She paused, her finger hovering above the writing pad as if searching for the right words. Finally, she sighed and kept writing.“Whatever this is.”
Whatever this is?The way she dismissed our relationship annoyed me. Funny that she soothed my berserker and yet, at the same time, could piss me off like no other.
That was the point, maybe. She pissed me off as a person, as a human, but not as a berserker. Hell, she might be the only one who could do that anymore.
“What is this? Just a reaction from being in Medical?” That didn’t feel quite right, though. She’d been to Medical before and hadn’t acted so jumpy.
Hera shook her head.“Nothing. I’m just tired.”
She moved slowly, as if in pain, and a reminder of the last time had me sighing. “Did they do more biopsies? Is that it?”
She didn’t respond right away, then nodded slowly, as if she hadn’t wanted to admit it. But why? It wasn’t as if I didn’t already know, as though I hadn’t seen them before.
“Show me.”
Thatseemed to wake her up, and she shook her head quickly.
“What are you, shy? It’s not like there’s an inch on your body I haven’t seen, haven’t touched, including the marks from last time. Stop acting like we’re fucking strangers.”
She bit softly at her bottom lip, and the anxiety on her face confused me. It didn’t look like her at all and none of it made any damn sense.
Finally, she grasped the hem of her loose T-shirt and pulled it up. More marks rested on her, similar to last time. Bruises covered the insides of her arms. Either they’d used a syringe many times or they’d done a shitty job locating a vein.
Still, it wasn’t anything different from the last time, so why was it hitting her this hard?
I wasn’t the sort to think through things, especially when it came to feelings, but I did my best. Maybe it was that it was her second time? Maybe she recognized her future for the time being involved this, rather than it being a one-time thing. That could throw even the strongest of people.
I took a seat beside her on the couch but tried to keep my gaze off her. My eyes could be a bit intense when I stared at people, and I didn’t need to freak her out anymore. “I’m sorry. I’ve never gotten sent there so I can’t say much, but I’m sure it sucks.”
I nearly groaned at my clumsy words, wishing suddenly she had Knox there instead of me. He was better with words, better with comfort. He understood women, knew how to get them to relax, how to talk to them.
Never had my shortcomings frustrated me more than at this moment…
She shrugged softly, picked up her writing pad, then wrote.
She held it out to me, and I reached for it. Our fingers touched, just a brush of them. When it happened, instead of hardly noting the innocent contact as she’d have done before, Hera yanked away as she had in the hallway.
It was like the touch had burned her, as if it terrified her. I’d thought earlier was an issue with surprising her, but clearly it went deep.
“What the fuck?” I asked without trying to reach for her again. “What is wrong?” Before she could say what I knew she would, I added on, “And don’t you dare tell me it’s nothing. If it wasnothingyou wouldn’t be jumping away from me like you’re afraid.”