So, it seemed neither of us was willing to actually voice what ran around in our heads.
Fine by me. I’ve got bigger fish to fry right now.
The elevator doors opened and I found myself faced with the same hallway as the last time. Whereas I’d managed not to stress yet, and I’d ignored the panic and fear that still clutched me from the last time, when faced with that hallway, it prowled closer.
Deacon took a step off the elevator, then paused when I didn’t follow. He turned toward me, his dark eyebrows drawn toward each other. “Hera?” he asked.
I blinked slowly, my gaze locked past him and down the hall.
He sighed, then came closer. He dropped his voice lower, probably so no one would hear. “It’s time to go. I know you don’t want to, I know you’re scared, but you need to pull it together.”
A part of me wanted to yell at him, to ask himwhyI was expected to just pull everything together. Didn’t people get the chance to break down? Especially after all I’d been through, didn’t I deserve that?
But what was the point? He wasn’t wrong. It was like trying to tread water in the middle of the ocean. Yeah, it was unfair to have to, but if a person was there, they had no other options.
“Look at me,” Deacon said, his voice nearly a whisper.
I forced myself to look into his purple eyes, to stare right at him. He said nothing, just peered back as if he could transfer some of his strength to me.
It made me take a deep breath and steel myself for what I had to do. If I lost my nerve, if I fought, Deacon would have no choice but to haul me there. Even if he didn’t, another guard would. Doing all that would only make things worse for myself when I arrived at Medical.
A quick nod from him said he knew I’d gathered myself, that I was ready to face reality head-on.
When he turned and started to walk off the elevator, I followed him. We went down the hallway to the door we’d gone through before. It all seemed eerily familiar, especially when I actually entered that pass-off location.
“So we get another shot at the siren?” the other guard asked as he entered the hand-off location.
Deacon said nothing, but his jaw twitched as if he had to control his temper.
That nearly made me smile, because he was angry on my behalf. It was a time when some of my own annoyance with him slid away. This life was hard and the more I lived it, the more I realized no one got out of it without some heavy scars.
“The schedule says she’ll be done at nine in the morning. I’ll be back then,” Deacon said.
“We’ll contact you,” the guard responded. “Given her results last time, this could take longer. I’d hate to waste your time and make you wait. I’m sure you’reverybusy.” The guard smirked back, as if amused by the interaction.
Which was funny, since thelasttimehe’d faced off against Deacon, the win had clearly gone to Deacon. Perhaps he just didn’t think Deacon would risk doing that again.
“She has work and classes tomorrow. I’ve already changed the schedule, because if you keep her up all night, she won’t be any use tomorrow. However, if it’s longer than that, she’ll need to have her schedule for the next few days cleared. These are things I need to be aware of.”
“And you’ll become aware—when we tell you.” The guard said nothing else, as if that should answer everything.
Deacon closed his hand into a fist but remained silent. He was as backed into a corner as I was.
“You can leave,” the guard said, dismissing Deacon as if he were a pest.
Deacon hesitated for a moment, but then let out a soft sound of frustration. When he turned toward me, I could see the pain in his eyes. I offered him a slight smile, the most I could do, an attempt to tell him not to worry. It didn’t seem to help, and the heavy fall of his footsteps echoed down the hall as he left.
The guard crooked his fingers to me, as if beckoning over a pet. “Come here, siren.”
I followed the demand no matter how badly I didn’t want to. Pissing him off wouldn’t help me. When I got closer, he caught my chin and forced my face to his.
“I heard you caused a lot of problems a few weeks ago. I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting that. You seemed like such a good girl while you were here last time. Were you faking it, or were you somehow not at fault for what happened?” He rubbed his finger along my chin, a touch I normally adored if others did it, buthe only made me sick from it. “You were probably tricked into it. You seem like a woman who could be easily swayed by sweet lies. Who put you up to it? What did they tell you to get you to do it? Did they threaten you? Or are you more of a carrot than stick, girl? Someone who risked that much because some big strong man swore up and down that he loved you?” He let out a cruel laugh, as if amused by that idea.
I didn’t bother to respond. Even if I could, even if he understood ASL or if I had my writing pad, it wasn’t as if he gave a fuck about what I had to say.
He brushed his thumb over my lip before a static sound left the radio at his waist, followed by a voice. “This isn’t the time for you to play with subjects. Hurry up and bring the siren here.” The voice was familiar, and I had to guess it had been the main doctor. While my memories of him were fuzzy, I had to admit, I wanted to thank him for the interruption.
The guard pulled his hand away, then darted his gaze up to the corner of the room, to a camera positioned there. He pressed his lips together, then grabbed his radio. “On our way, Sir.”