Very little time later, the steady rise and fall of Aiden’s chest deepened. I stayed in his embrace, staring through the darkness at the empty wall across the bed for what seemed like hours before I carefully disentangled myself from his arms and crept out of the bed.
Unable to sleep or stay put, I found a pair of sweats in the darkness and drew them on, rolling the cuffs at the bottom. My bare feet padded off the wood floors as I slipped out of the door and headed downstairs.
The house was tomb-quiet and chilly. Folding my arms, I piddled around in the kitchen, even though I wasn’t hungry or thirsty. Restless and wide awake, with no idea of what to do, I made my way to the sunroom.
It was colder in there, but in a weird way, surrounded by all the plants and windows with nothing but darkness looming outside, it was peaceful.
Sitting at the window seat, I tucked my legs against my chest and stared out one of the windows. Too much was running through my head - my father, training again, the Breed Order, Aiden and his sudden resistance, everything that was happening outside these walls, and…
And I was thinking about Seth, courtesy of the nightmarish visit.
A sharp slice of panic pierced my belly. What had happened had to have been a nightmare. Which was completely understandable considering Seth was pulling a Doctor Evil right now. It couldn’t be anything else, so I needed to stop freaking over it. But that low buzz in the back of my head—it was still there and it signified that, no matter what I did or how strong I was, I would always be connected to him.
And that he could possibly still reach me.
That anxious pang was back, spreading to my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut. Fear was a sour taste on the roof of my mouth. Could that nightmare really have been Seth reaching out to me?
I checked my mental shields. Almost like running my tongue over my teeth after Jackson had stomped me in the face during class, I poked and prodded at the shield, making sure nothing had been knocked out of place or loose. The shield was sturdy, but the traces of alarm lingered.
When I’d been connected to Seth after I’d Awakened, I could hear his thoughts as clear as my own.
I rocked back a little, squeezing my legs until my arms ached.
Seth had really seemed like he’d been here tonight, leaning over me and whispering his warning. Even my nightmares from what had happened in Gatlinburg hadn’t been that real, and they’d been pretty damn visual.
Footsteps neared the sunroom and my head snapped up. “Marcus.”
He was still dressed like he’d been at dinner, jeans and a tailored flannel shirt—a sure sign he hadn’t gone to bed yet. “Up a little late?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe.
I gave a lopsided shrug and kept my arms locked around my knees. “I’m not sleepy.”
“You were dragging all evening. I figured you’d sleep another day away.”
It wasn’t like I could tell him the truth, so I said nothing.
Marcus hesitated in the doorway and then strode forward, sure and strong. I watched him wearily as he sat beside me, taking the same spot Laadan had when we’d spoken. Several tense, uncomfortable minutes passed, and although Marcus and I had come a long way, we still had mountains to climb before things weren’t so epically awkward between us.
He placed his hands in his lap and sighed. “Are you feeling well, Alexandria?”
So formal… “Yeah, like I said, just not sleepy. How about you?”
“Was out patrolling and just switched out with Solos.” He cast me a quick sidelong glance. “I’m not sleepy, either.”
I turned back to the window. “Do you guys think it’s necessary to patrol?”
“Some of it may just be out of habit, especially for Aiden and Solos, but stranger things have been known to happen.”
Surprised that he answered honestly, I faced him. With my Apollyon sight, I could make out the lines of his face in the shadows. Another shocker came when I found his expression was open. “And even though the gods might not be gunning for us this very second, that could always change,” he said. “So we watch… and we wait.”
I didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I hate that.”
“What?” Curiosity marked his tone.
My hands curled into themselves, balling next to my thighs. “That people would so willingly give their lives away to protect me. I hate that.”
Marcus twisted toward me and then leaned his head back against the window. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s not just you that we’re protecting, Alexandria. There’s Lea and Deacon, Olivia and Luke. Three of them are trained to a certain extent, but not against gods or a horde of daimons. Even though a daimon attack out here seems unlikely…”
Stranger things had happened. I nodded.
His vibrant eyes slid close. “It’s not always about you.”
My mouth worked on a refusal. I didn’t think it was always about me, but wait… I kind of sort of did by assuming that everyone was throwing themselves in front of a bus for me. My cheeks burned.
“I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that.” I took a breath. “Well, I kind of did, but I know you guys are protecting them, too. And that’s… that’s a good thing.”
His shoulders relaxed. “And I didn’t mean how that came out.”
I laughed and the sound surprised me. It wasn’t forced or snarky, just amused. “Yeah, you did, and I get it. I’ve been riding the Alex-Is-Important train for quite some time.”
One eyebrow arched.
The urge to laugh came again, but I stopped it and placed my cheek on my knees. “I’ve been… uh, I’ve been a handful. I know that. Most of the time it was on purpose.”
“I know,” was all he said.
“You did?”
Marcus nodded. “You’re like any child—”
“I’m not a child.”
His lips curved up at the corners. “You were like any child who was seeking for a place to fit in. It’s especially hard with you half-bloods. Many of you come from unhappy homes, or no homes at all. The environment you’re raised in is violent and aggressive. I’ve seen so many…” He shook his head slightly. “Anyway, you were different, though.”
I glanced toward the empty question. “Why?”
“For starters, you’re my niece.”
“Wow.” I blinked, loosening my grip on my legs. “I’m surprised that the first thing wasn’t that you knew I was the Apollyon.”
Marcus’ eyes opened and met mine. “That was never first, second, or third. You are my niece. You are my sister’s daughter. And you are so much like her…” He exhaled through the nose, his jaw locking. “You were so much like her that when you came back to the Covenant… and even now, I have a hard time looking at you without seeing my sister.”
Something… something came unhinged in my chest. Never had Marcus been this open with me. And it’d seemed more likely for me to waltz around the living room with a daimon before Marcus would talk to me about my mother, but here he was.
Holy daimon butt, we were climbing that mountain.
The breath I inhaled was a bit raspy. “You loved my mom a lot.”
“Rachelle was my little sister and I… I loved her dearly.” His eyes closed again. “Rachelle was full of life—vibrant. We were opposites. She drew people to her in droves, and I pretty much repelled them.”
My lips quirked at the corners.
“She was probably the only person who could get me to relax.” He sat up suddenly, dropping his hands on his knees. “When you were really little, she used to bring you over to my home, and if you behaved, which wasn’t always likely, she’d take you for ice cream afterward.” A pensive smile formed. “You were such a tiny thing then, but my gods, I knew immediately you would look just like her. Everything except the eyes…”
Searching my memories, I found I could recall nothing of him from when I’d been a little girl, only the few visits when I was older, and they had been cold and impersonal. Marcus had been like every other pure.
“She always claimed that your father was a mortal, but that one Sentinel was always with her, always following her… and you.”
“What?” My head snapped up.
Marcus focused on something I couldn’t see. “You were too young, Alexandria, to remember your father.”
Hearing Marcus mention my father stopped the world.
“You were just a baby. Your mother couldn’t so much as walk outside without Alexander not too far behind her, especially if she had you with her. Looking back, it seemed obvious, but Sentinels and Guards were always around. And they’d attended the Covenant together, two years behind me. I just thought they were friends. But I think I always knew, deep down, and I couldn’t see past that. Every time I looked at you, I saw my sister’s downfall.”
My eyes widened. “Ouch.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “Sounds terrible, but you of all people know what happens to halfs and pures that mix. I was so angry with my sister for putting herself into that position and for bringing a child into it.” Marcus paused, pensive. “I took it out on you. It was wrong.”
Pigs had just officially sprouted wings and were flying alongside airplanes. Instead of jumping around and pointing out what he just admitted and acting like a general douche about it, I focused on something else. Sometimes I amazed myself with my own maturity.
“Did… did you know my father personally?”
His lips thinned. “I trained with your father before I decided to go a more political route. He was a damn good Sentinel. Like you.”
I stared. Once upon a time, hearing something like that would’ve have filled me with pleasure, but now it wasn’t the compliment that had drawn me in; it was hearing that my father had been a damn good Sentinel that did.
“I think your mother hoped she wouldn’t be paired. I wasn’t. Neither was Laadan. But when your mother was paired with Lucian, Alexander… you just knew, if you knew the man behind the uniform.”
Again, I had no idea what to say.
“There was nothing he could do but stand back and let the woman he loved marry someone else. And he had to live with that someone else raising his child.” Marcus cleared his throat. “And I’m sure Alexander knew that Lucian wasn’t kind to you, but there was nothing he could do. Coming forward would have put both your mother and you in danger. He was helpless.”
My muscles were tensing and relaxing at the same time. “What happened? How did he end up a servant?”
Marcus faced me. “When you were three years old, Alexander disappeared. It wasn’t uncommon. We were told he’d been killed by a daimon.”
I shook my head, brows furrowing. “How did you not know where he was? He was in the Catskills, under Telly’s thumb.”
“I didn’t see him there until about a year prior to your return.” The sincerity in his words rocked me. “I’d believed that he was dead, and I didn’t know that a male half and a female pure made an Apollyon. Even when Rachelle came to me before she took you away, I didn’t suspect what that truly meant. Not until I saw Alexander in the Catskills, and then what could I do?”