Marg tucked a throw around her, and Bollocks laid his head on her knee.
“I’m all right.” But the cold, the cold pierced down to the bone. “It was just—so much. I could’ve gone through the curtain, Nan. I think I could’ve gone through and tried to stop it.”
“Gone where I couldn’t follow, alone, against so many? You’d not have stopped it,mo stór. Here, drink.”
She brought Breen a cup warmed by her own hands.
“In the end, I saw Shana. Did you?”
“I didn’t, no. The curtain was thinning, and I had to hold it for you. What of her?”
“What’s inside her, Nan, it’s not right. What he put inside her, the baby? It’s dark like him, twisted like her, and it’s not growing—I don’t know—right. Deformed, somehow. I don’t know.”
“She made her choice, Breen.”
“I know.” She sipped, felt the worst of the chill ebb. “The Sidhe on the altar, you saw?”
“I did.”
“She wanted what he did to her, all of it. She felt honored, excited. When he was on her, in her, did you see what he was?”
“I know what he is.”
“No, no, did you see his eyes, did you see the claws?”
Marg’s breath caught. “This I didn’t.”
“He’s not just a god, Nan, not only a god. There’s demon in him. I saw it, I felt it.” Her eyes filled as she looked into Marg’s. “There’s demon in him, so it’s in me.”
“You’re sure of this?”
“I’m sure. Oh, Nan, if that part of me turns.”
“Don’t be foolish.” The quick dismissal left Breen speechless. “You mistake if you think all demons are dark and evil. Like anything else, it’s choice. Many embrace the dark, but you never have and never will.”
“Did you know? Did you?”
“Not before this, and I think you feared it, so hid it and well. Let me tell you this, and know it—as I love you—as truth. This makes you stronger. It makes you more. And remember, if this passed to you, it passed to your father. Does that change who he was?”
“No. Do you think he knew?”
“I think he didn’t, and you wouldn’t if you hadn’t seen what you were meant to see so we’d know these things. Will you open for me now, let me see? I’d send you to Harken, who has more skill with this, but you’re mine, so that’s enough.”
The cold had gone to ice, and the ice coated her belly.
“If it’s bad, you have to tell me. We have to find a way to suppress it.”
“Give me your hands now.” Marg took the cup, set it aside. “Give me your hands, and open.”
“Promise me first.”
“You have my promise. I’ll never lie to you.”
Breen put her hands in Marg’s. “I think you have to help. I’m not sure I can do it.”
“You can, but I’ll help. Look at me, see only me, as I see only you. Open to one who loves you. Ah, there you are, that’s the way.”
Breen felt herself drift on Marg’s voice.