I keep a small heater on the floor in here for him while I work. Dasher loves the snow and cold, but he’s also a baby and likes to be warm. As soon as I turn it on, he lies in front of it, watching me with his big eyes.
“This won’t take me long,” I explain to him as I grab my axe and chop the stumps into smaller, more manageable chunks. While my house runs off propane, I still use the fireplace.
Thirty minutes pass, and I take a quick break. My muscles are fatigued from chopping most of the day. Dasher stares at me, and I chuckle. He’s just as ready as I am to go in and relax.
As I look out across the pond in front of my house, I can see the blizzard moving in. Visibility is terrible. I’m not sure how long I’ll be snowed in, but I plan to catch up on some sleep. Then after it passes, I’ll be on plow duty. Once I’ve caught my breath, I continue until I’m finally finished.
“Okay, boy. Let’s go.”
I turn off the small heater, then grab an armful of wood to carry inside. Dasher leads the way, and as soon as I turn the knob, he sniffs around and starts barking.
I place the logs in a small stack next to the fireplace and notice one of the reindeer in my town scene on the mantel is turned the wrong way. Making a face, I move it back to where it was.
Dasher races upstairs, still barking his head off as I undress on my way to the shower. I’ll deal with my wet-ass dog after.
I slip off my jeans, push my boxers down, and open my bedroom door, naked. Unbeknownst to me, a woman lies in my bed.
I make eye contact with her as Dasher rushes forward. Quickly, I try to cover myself, not particularly wanting this stranger to see my dick, but I have more questions than answers. Neither of us knows what the fuck is going on. I try to say something, anything, but she screams in horror. She grabs something next to her, then points it at me. Everything happens so fast that I barely have time to react. Pepper spray shoots across the room and hits me directly in my eyes.
“Fuck! You just maced me!” I stumble back, trip over something hard, and fall on my ass.
“I’m calling the police!” she shrieks as Dasher sniffs me and continues to bark at the woman.
I press my palms into my face as the burn gets worse. “Please do! Tell them you broke in, then assaulted me!”
“Broke intoyourhouse? I don’t think so. The last thing I’m going to do is let some man murder me in the middle of nowhere.”
I wish I could look at her, but my eyes are stinging so fucking bad that I can only wait it out. She starts coughing, which means she probably got some residuals from the spray.
“What are you talking about, woman?”
“I’m talking about how you just broke into my rental.”
“Listen to me!” My voice booms as tears roll down my cheeks. I have no idea what the fuck she’s talking about.
“Ugh! Get your filthy dog off me.” I can hear the mattress squeak and know he jumped on the bed.
“Dasher.” I snap my fingers. “Downstairs.”
I hear a thump followed by the pads of his feet trotting as he makes his way to the bottom floor. “I’d love to keep having this ridiculous conversation with you, but I really need to rinse my eyes.” They feel like they’re melting out of my skull.
I manage to gain my footing while keeping one hand over my junk.
“Maybe I should’ve tased you instead.”
“I’ll deal with you when I get out of the shower,” I state.
“Fine!” she snaps. “But you touch me, I’ll call 911 immediately.”
Carefully, I take blind steps toward my bathroom. Once I’m at the sink, I spend fifteen minutes splashing cold water on my face to dilute the capsaicin she attacked me with.
Then I immediately get in the shower and wash every part of my body with soap to try to break down the oils from the spray. I stand under the stream, letting it run over my sore muscles, annoyed that I’m dealing with this bullshit.
I’ve lived here all my life and know almost everyone in the area, and she’s definitely not a local.
After I rinse off, I get dressed and notice her shampoo, conditioner, and sea breeze-scented body wash is on the edge of my tub. She fully helped herself to my house while I was gone. Guess I’m going to have to start locking my door.
Once I’ve composed myself, I walk into my room, where she’s still sitting cross-legged on my bed with her laptop. She quickly grabs her pepper spray when she hears me.