Nonna gave me a sharp look. “Because your brother said it wasn’t your problem and not to bother you with it.”
My brother sounded a lot more grown-up than Nonna was giving him credit for but he also trying to take on toomuch. I was going to tell him just that as soon as I spoke with him.
“Is that why he didn’t tell me about Mother?” I asked, wanting this to make some sort of sense. I had never acted as if his problems weren’t important. I’d always tried to be there for him. He had just never seemed to truly need me. He had the family I was born into that hadn’t wanted me. They had wanted him, or at least I had thought they had.
She shook her head. “No. I told her and him both that I’d tell you.”
“So, what’s the deal? Is she going to get chemotherapy? Is she asking you to take Bella in?” I didn’t think my nonna was still able to raise kids. She needed to enjoy her life and retirement. Gunner had given her enough money when he sold the Lawton estate that she would never need to work again. Her world revolved around playing bingo at the church on Friday nights, walking three miles every day with her friends, and working at the soup kitchen and the ladies’ auxiliary at her church to supply clothing for those in need. This was not the time in her life she needed a six-year-old girl to raise.
“Chemotherapy isn’t an option. It’s everywhere, Willa. She’s beyond saving. She skipped several years of doctor checkups, and it’s spread all through her. They say she has about six months if she’s lucky. Three if she’s not.”
Nonna’s words slowly sank in as I sat there staring down at my slice of pie. There was no real emotion that I understood running through me at the moment. I hadn’t seen my mother since she’d stood in this house and told me she was pregnant and I was useless. We hadn’t spoken since that day either. I had hated her for so long for not loving me, until one day the hate changed to indifference. I rarely thought of her anymore.
Tears didn’t sting my eyes at the news she was going to die. My chest didn’t ache, and there were no regrets. Shouldn’t I feel at least one of those things? Anything? Was I truly that cold and switched off from the woman who gave birth to me?
“She’s not got much in her will to leave to anyone, but unless Rick shows back up, she is leaving Bella in Chance’s custody. She knows I’m too old to raise another kid, and I barely know the child. I’ve only gotten to know Chance since he turned sixteen and made it a point to come see me. His visits are something I look forward to. I hate I missed his earlier years, but your mother is to blame for that. She did give me you, though, and you are my greatest joy.”
At those last four words, a lump did form in my throat. My nonna had loved me enough to make up for not having the love of either parent. She had been my mother and my father. She had been my lifeline and protector. Oddlyenough, she had been that for Gunner, too. She loved him like her own.
“He’s too young to raise a kid,” I managed to say.
Nonna sighed wearily. “I said the same thing, but Chance is set on it. He won’t hear of anything else. You’ve lived with your mother, Willa. You know what it is like. Chance has been that child’s everything since she was old enough to walk. He’s the one who made sure she was fed properly, he’s the one who got her ready for school and took her to school, he’s the one who holds her when she’s hurt. He’s been her parent since he was fifteen years old.”
My chest hurt thinking about it. Deep down had I known all this, but it was something I had chosen to ignore. That wasn’t my world. It never really had been. Even when I lived in that house, I wasn’t part of the family. But Chance was my family and ignoring his reality had been wrong. Had I truly believed that his life was different with our mother or had I wanted to believe he was fine? That the sister I had never met was loved? Facing the truth was more than a slap in the face. It felt more like a heavy weight had been placed on my chest and I couldn’t take a deep breath.
CHAPTER TWO
GUNNER
Nash looked up from the paperwork on the kitchen table in front of him when I walked inside his house. He ran a hand over his head and groaned. “Thank God for a distraction,” he said.
I looked down at the papers in front of him. “Looks fun.”
“It’s applications for the camp,” he replied. “This shit ain’t easy. I want to take them all.”
“Is Willa back yet?”
He shook his head. “No.”
I walked over to the fridge and got a bottle of water before going to sit down across from Nash. “She’s visitingher nonna. I figured I’d give them a visit without me. They don’t get that often,” I said, then took a long pull from my water.
“Where have you been?” he asked.
I thought for a moment. I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell anyone what I had been doing. It was something I had a hard time believing myself. I lifted my gaze from the water bottle in my hand to meet Nash’s curious expression.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I said with a smirk.
“Now youhaveto fucking tell me,” he replied.
“No one knows about this, and I don’t want them to. Not until I tell Willa.”
He nodded. “My lips are sealed. Spill.”
“Not even Tallulah,” I added. “The girls can’t keep secrets from each other. They do too much chatty shit.”
“Not even her,” he agreed.
“I just made an offer on the estate,” I told him.