“Of course. I just wanted it to be after this was over.”
He muttered a curse and walked over to stare out the window. Tears filled my eyes without warning, and I fisted the panties in my hand, trying hard to fight off my need to break down. I would cry about this, but I didn’t want to do it in front of him. The feeling of loneliness weighed down on me, and I turned back toward my closet before the first tears fell.
A sob escaped me, and I let the panties fall back into the suitcase so I could cover my face. There was no stopping the emotions bursting free now.
“Maggie.” West’s voice was softer. The anger that had been in his expression wasn’t echoed in his tone, but I didn’t look back at him.
His arms came around me and pulled me to his chest. That only made the sobbing worse. “Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I was just taken by surprise. I wasn’t expecting this. I handled it wrong.”
I was trying to stop crying, but it was a battle I wasn’t winning. No matter how hard I tried, more sobs broke free. It was making my nausea worse. We hadn’t talked about kids. We’d talked about where we wanted to live and the places we wanted to visit. We’d shared our dreams, but we’d never talked about kids.
It wasn’t until now that I wondered why.
CHAPTER SEVEN
WEST
Maggie’s sobs were breaking my heart. Knowing I’d made her cry like this had me so damn twisted up I couldn’t take a deep breath. I had to calm her down. I’d never heard her this upset, and I never wanted to again.
Taking her arms, I turned her around and wrapped my arms back around her. “Please, baby. Stop crying. I’m sorry. Just please stop this. You’re killing me,” I pleaded.
She nodded her head against my chest and hiccupped, struggling to control her outburst. I kissed the top of her head. This wasn’t like Maggie. Normally when we fought or got into an argument she held her own. She was fiery and tough. That was what I expected from her. Not this.
“I should,” she said, then hiccupped, “have told you.”
She thought I was mad because she hadn’t told me. Hell, I wasn’t sure I had been mad. More frustrated about the way it was all playing out. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. We were supposed to get engaged and married. I wanted her all to myself for a few years. Maybe more. I didn’t want to share her.
Yes, it was fucking selfish, but it was the truth.
More than that, I didn’t want her to think when I proposed that it was because she was pregnant. That wasn’t the memory I wanted her to have. She was supposed to get the perfect story to tell our grandkids. Not this.
I ran my hand down her damp head. “It’s okay. Everything is going to be fine,” I reassured her.
She nodded and sniffled. The sobbing had stopped, and I had never been more fucking thankful. That shit was soul-crushing. I couldn’t handle it. If anyone else had made her cry like that, I’d have killed them.
“It’s my fault. I forgot it was time for another shot. I didn’t put it on my calendar,” she said, then sniffled again before looking up at me.
I tucked the wet hair hanging over her face behind her ear. “It’s okay,” I repeated.
Her eyes were red and puffy as she frowned. “You were angry. It’s not okay.”
I ran my thumb over her lips. “I was surprised. I reacted like an ass, but I would have handled it better if I’d known it would upset you like this.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “We never talked about kids, but I want this baby, and… and I’m happy about it. Scared but happy.”
A baby. Just hearing her say it was terrifying. But I couldn’t say that. She was scared, and I had to be the one to ease her fears.
“It’s a part of you. I want it too.” That was the truth. Anything that was a part of Maggie, I wanted.
“It’s a part of you, too. It’s both of us. We made it together.” There was a slight tug at the corner of her lips.
“You should start praying now it’s a girl and nothing like me,” I told her.
She laughed then, and the sound was what I needed to mend the pain her crying had caused. Maggie happy was what I needed to keep my world centered.
She swallowed hard and took a deep breath, then swayed slightly. I pulled her tighter against me. “What’s wrong?” I asked, feeling panicked and completely useless.
“Nausea and I’m weak. I need to eat something. It’ll help,” she said softly.