I mumbled incoherently against my hands. Delayed as it was, it struck me then that Aiden had spent the night with me—in a bed. And I’d been passed out for it. Gods, that royally sucked, but it didn’t suck as badly as it would have if someone found out about it. “Why did you stay here? What if someone—”
“Only Seth and Leon know what happened. And Laadan. No one else knows we’re here.” He pulled my hands away. “I wasn’t leaving you alone. The drug was still in your system and I wasn’t taking a risk on something else happening to you. You were sick again in the middle of the night. You don’t remember that?”
“No,” I whispered, trying to ignore the warmth his protective words brought. “I don’t remember that.”
“Probably a good thing, it was pretty rough.”
“Great,” I muttered.
A brief smile appeared. “You were… talking a lot, too.”
“This just keeps getting better. What did I say?”
“You told me you wanted to marry Seth’s bed, and then you told me you’d marry me if I asked. After that, you started to—”
“Enough,” I groaned, wanting to crawl under the blankets.
Aiden laughed. “It was actually kind of cute.”
More embarrassed than I’d ever been, I had a hard time looking at Aiden. His face didn’t show any signs that he’d duked it out with Seth. Maybe I’d imagined it. “Did you and Seth… fight?”
One eyebrow arched. “Yeah, we did.”
“Oh, gods, Aiden, it wasn’t Seth’s fault.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry that you had to go through any of this. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You did nothing wrong, but he did.”
“Don’t apologize. Please. None of this is your fault.” I drew in a deep breath. “It wasn’t Seth’s, either. Aiden, he tried. Really, he did, but I just…” I couldn’t believe I was going to say any of this. “I just kept pushing him. I couldn’t stop, but I knew what I was doing. I just couldn’t stop myself.”
“That doesn’t matter, Alex. Seth should’ve shown restraint. He knew you were vulnerable, that it didn’t matter who you were with.” He paused, drawing in a deep breath. “Alex, look at me.”
I lifted my head slowly. I expected there to be some sort of judgment or disappointment in his gray gaze, but all I saw was infinite understanding, which made the ball of conflicting emotions feel that much worse. His eyes shut briefly. When they reopened, they burned an unnatural shade of silver. “Did he… did you two…?”
“No. We… didn’t do that. He stopped.” I figured it was best to leave out the exact reason why he’d stopped.
We fell into silence for a little while. My mind worked through the events of last night, the implications of them. Someone had wanted me to screw up in a bad way. And to go to that kind of extreme—even the idea sickened me. What if Aiden and Seth hadn’t seen me?
“You really think someone was waiting for me?” I swallowed down the taste of bile, shuddering. “Waiting to catch me with a pure?”
Aiden looked me straight on. “Yes.”
It was hard to wrap my head around that kind of tactic. I shuddered again. Aiden reached down and tucked the blanket around me, but then I jerked up, ruining his hard work.
“Are you feeling sick again?” He moved as if he would carry me off the bed.
I wasn’t sure. The walls did feel like they were closing in around me, but it wasn’t the effects of the brew. “I could’ve lost everything.”
Aiden didn’t respond, because really, what could he say?
My mind raced. There were so many things I could do with the power I would have. I’d learned one thing at the Council—I needed to be able to do something to change the lives of my kind. Seth had been right; we could do something about that as long as I made it to eighteen without being forced into servitude. If I were put on the elixir—which was what someone had intended last night by hoping to catch me with a pure—I might never Awaken. I’d lose such a huge opportunity—more than any half had ever had.
And someone had tried to take that from me at least three times in the last couple of weeks: the compulsion, the Council session, and now this? Telly had warned me if I messed up one more time, I’d be kept in New York.
Sleeping with a pure, willingly or not, would have classified as messing up.
“Alex, are you okay?”
My gaze dropped to his. I don’t know what I saw in his eyes. I couldn’t read them anymore. “Do you think Telly did this?”
Aiden blinked. “Minister Telly? I don’t know, Alex. He’s a lot of things, but to do this? And why?”
“He doesn’t like me.”
“Not liking you is one thing, but to destroy you? It has to be more than dislike, Alex. There has to be a reason.”
Aiden had a point. “Then I need to find out why.”
“We will find out why.”
I nodded. “Right now, I just… I just want to leave here. I want to go home.”
He leaned forward and placed his hand over mine, easing my fingers off the blanket I’d been gripping. “There’s a late afternoon session, and we’ll leave immediately afterward.”
Surprisingly, I didn’t feel very relieved by that. The plus side in all of this was I now knew not to take drinks from… it hit me then. I laughed.
Aiden’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “Alex?”
I shook my head. “I’m fine. It’s just that damn oracle was right again. She warned me, did you know? She told me not to accept gifts from those who meant me harm.” I laughed again. “Of course, she failed to mention that it would be a secondhand gift from someone who didn’t mean me harm. Gods, if that woman were still alive, I’d hit her. Seriously.”
His lips stretched into a lopsided grin and his hand tightened over mine. An old and familiar ache sprung alive at the sight of his smile, forcing me to look away. I swallowed, wanting nothing more than to climb into his arms. “Do you know where Seth is?”
“No. He left when he realized I wasn’t leaving. He’s around here somewhere.”
I ran a hand over my face. I was surprised and kind of stung that he’d actually left me with Aiden, but I was happy that he had. Because that gave me time with Aiden—time in bed with Aiden. Which didn’t make any sense. “I need to find him.”
Aiden’s hand left mine. “You shouldn’t be worried about him right now. And I don’t want you running around looking for him. It’s not safe here.”
“I know it’s not, but I have to see him. You don’t understand. Things—”
“Things are what, Alex?”
I turned toward him. He was frowning, eyes a deep and dark gray. “I don’t know. Things are different with him.” That was all I could say.
Aiden stared at me a moment, then straightened. “Are you two… seeing each other?”
My cheeks turned several shades of red.
His eyes turned silver in a nanosecond. “I thought you were against this whole fate thing.”
“I am! But… I don’t know. Things have just changed and… he’s been there for me,” I finished lamely.
A muscle started ticking along his jaw. “And I haven’t been. So you decided to be with Seth?”
I gaped at him, but then my temper shot to the surface. “No, you haven’t been. But that’s not why I’m with Seth.”
“Really?” He pushed off the bed. Standing, he ran his hand through his hair. “I find that hard to believe since you told me a few days ago you hated him.”
I flushed, partly because he was right and that pissed me off. “Why do you even care, Aiden? You can’t—and don’t—want me. And you even said you thought Seth cared about me. Or is this one of those lame lines like ‘I don’t want you but I don’t want you with anyone else?’ Because that’s so not cool.”
He dropped his hand. “That is not what this is about, Alex. I just don’t want to see you getting wrapped up in something… so serious for the wrong reasons.”
My gaze flicked up, meeting his. His eyes burned so brightly, taking up his whole face. “You’ve told me we can’t be together and—and I know. I know we can’t, but—”
Aiden bent quickly, leaning down so our faces were only inches from one another. “But that doesn’t mean you should settle for Seth, Alex.”
I crushed the blanket in my hands. “I’m not settling for Seth!”
He quirked an eyebrow and held my glare with his own.
Then it hit me and my heart sped up. “This isn’t even about Seth. This is about you! You don’t want to see me with him or anyone else! Because you still care about me!”
Aiden jerked back, shaking his head. “Of course I care for you.”
I drew in a deep breath, trying to quell my racing heart. “Tell me… tell me that you feel the same way I do about you, because if you do…” I couldn’t bring myself to actually say it. If he told me that he felt the same way—that he loved me—then to hell with everything else. To hell with it all, because I would not—could not walk away from that. No matter how wrong it was, how I’d resolved to let him go, and no matter how dangerous it would be for the both of us. I simply couldn’t.
Aiden inhaled sharply. “I won’t.”
“Or you can’t?”
He shook his head again, eyes flickering shut. A quick grimace pulled at his lips, and then he looked me dead on. “I don’t.”
I exhaled harshly, suddenly wanting to curl up in a ball and cry. But I didn’t. I’d brought this on myself. “Okay.”
“Alex, I want—”
“No. I don’t want to hear anything else.” I pushed off the bed. “What I have with Seth is none of your—” A rush of dizziness made me stumble. I bent, grabbing the edge of the bed for support.
“Alex?” Aiden moved around the bed, reaching for me.
“Don’t!” I threw up my hand. “Don’t pretend you care. That takes douchebaggery to a whole new level.”
Aiden stopped, opening and closing his hands. “Good point.”
The room righted itself and it felt safe to move again. Ignoring Aiden and the need to wail like a baby, I started the mortifying search for my clothes. I gathered up my jeans and hoodie, tucking them under my arm. One very important, very embarrassing item hadn’t been located. I scanned the floors rather desperately.
“I think this belongs to you.”
Cursing under my breath, I turned around. Aiden dangled something black, small and flimsy from his fingertips.
Color burst across my face. I snatched it out of his hand. “Thanks.”
Aiden didn’t smile. “It’s my pleasure.”
CHAPTER 25
I WENT THROUGH MY MORNING ROUTINE SLOWLY,