“Alex?” He picked up a jar from the counter. The doctor must have come in at some point. “Don’t forget this.”
I took the jar and murmured my thanks. Bleary-eyed, I fol owed him out and into the vivid sun. It hurt my head and my eyes, but in a way, the sun stil felt good on my skin. I was alive.
We stood for a moment on the marbled pathway, both of us staring out across the courtyard and the ocean beyond. I wondered what he was thinking.
“You going back to your dorm?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
We didn’t talk about our conversation in Nashvil e or about that night at his place, but it lingered on my mind as we made our way to the dorms. Walking as close as we were, it was hard not to think about it, but when I thought about Caleb, al thoughts of romance—or lack thereof—
fled. I real y needed to see him.
“See you… around?”
Aiden nodded as he stared across the quad. A few halfs lounged on the benches between the dorms. A pure was with them. She was making it rain over one spot. Kind of cool.
I sighed, stal ing. “Al right… ”
“Alex?”
“Yes?”
He stared down at me, a soft smile tugging at his lips.
“You’re going to be okay.”
“Yeah… I am. I guess it takes more than a couple of hungry daimons to bring me down, huh?”
He laughed, and the sound nearly knocked the air out of my chest. I loved the way he laughed. I looked up at him, a smal smile tugging at my own lips. Like always, our eyes met and something deep flared between us. Even out here, out in the open as we were, it was stil there.
Aiden stepped back. There was nothing left to say. I gave him a tiny wave and watched until he disappeared from view, then I cut across the courtyard and headed to Caleb’s room. I wasn’t worried about getting caught going into the boys’ dorm. We hadn’t gotten a chance to talk since everything had gone down. He opened the door after the first knock, wearing sweats and a loose shirt.
“Hey,” I said.
He smiled and pushed the door open further. The grin immediately turned into a grimace and he clutched his sides. “Crap. I keep forgetting not to move a certain way.”
“You doing okay?”
“Yeah, my ribs are just a little sore. You?”
I fol owed him back to the bedroom and sat cross-legged on the bed. “Good. Just got checked out by the doctor here.”
He eased himself down on the bed beside me. A frown crossed his face as he studied me. “Those tags? Why haven’t they healed like mine?”
I glanced down at his arms. Four days later and the only reminder were the bruised ribs and a couple of pale scars dotting his arms. “I don’t know. The doc said they would fade in a few days. He gave me a jar of stuff to rub on them.” I patted my pocket. “It’s pretty bad looking, isn’t it?”
“No. You kinda look like… like I should be afraid of you kicking my ass or something.”
I laughed. “That’s because I can kick your ass.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Alex, I was kind of out of it in the woods, but I heard you… ”
“Kil ed her?” I leaned over and grabbed an extra pil ow.
“Yeah, I did.”
My bluntness caused him to flinch. “I’m… real y sorry. I wish I knew what to say to make it easier for you.”
“You don’t need to say anything about it.” Stretching out beside him, I stared up at the little green stars al over the ceiling. At night, they glowed. “Caleb, I’m sorry I dragged you into that mess.”
“No. You didn’t drag me into anything.”
“You shouldn’t have been there. What Daniel was doing
—”
His hand clenched beside me. I don’t think he saw me notice, but I did. “You didn’t—”
“You shouldn’t have been there.”
He waved his hand, cutting me off. “Stop it. I made the decision to fol ow you. I could’ve gone to one of the Guards or the Sentinels. Instead, I fol owed you. It was my choice.”
I stared at him and saw he was actual y serious. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping wel . I looked away.
“I’m sorry… you had to go through this.”
“It’s okay, al right? Look. What are friends for if they can’t share a few hours with psychotic daimons? We can look at it as a bonding experience.”
I snorted. “Bonding experience?”
He nodded and started tel ing me about al the halfs who’d visited him since he came back to the Covenant.
When he mentioned Olivia, he got that dopey look on his face. Suddenly I wondered if I got the dopey smile on my face when I thought of Aiden. Gods, I hoped not.
“So a skunk humped my leg earlier,” Caleb went on.
“What?”
He laughed, and then winced. “You haven’t been listening to me.”
“Sorry.” I blinked. “I kind of dazed out there.”
“I could tel .”
I then had an evil case of word vomit. “I almost hooked up with Aiden.”
Caleb’s mouth dropped open. It took him a couple of tries to say something coherent. “You do mean you almost hooked him like, say, with a fishing pole or something?”
My brows furrowed at that imagery. “No.”
“A right hook to the jaw then?”
I shook my head.
He stared at me, his face draining of al color. “Alex, what in the hel are you thinking? Are you out of your mind? Do you want to end up in servitude? Wow. Oh, my gods, you’re insane.”
I cringed. “I said we almost hooked up, Caleb. Chil out.”
“Almost?” He threw up his arms, then winced. “The Council—the Masters don’t care about almost. Man, here I thought Aiden was cool. Freaking pure-bloods, they don’t give two shits about what happens to us. Risk your entire future to just get between—”
“Hey. Aiden isn’t like that.”
Caleb looked at me blandly. “He isn’t?”
“No.” I rubbed my eyes. “Aiden’s not going to risk my future. Trust me. He’s nothing like the rest of them. I’d trust him with my life, Caleb.”
He considered that silently. “How did it happen?”
“I’m not going to go into details, you perv. It was something that… just happened, but it’s over. I just had to tel someone, but you have to promise me you won’t say anything.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t. I can’t believe you’d even have to worry about that.”
“I know, but I feel better saying it. Okay?”
“Alex… you real y care about him, don’t you?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Yeah, I do.”
“You do realize how wrong that is?”
“Yes, but… he’s so different from any pure we know. He doesn’t think like them. He’s kind and he’s real y funny once you get to know him. He doesn’t put up with any of my crap, and I kind of like him for that. I don’t know. Aiden just gets me.”
“And you do realize that al of that means nothing?” Caleb said. “That it can’t go anywhere?”
That knowledge hurt more than it should. I sighed. “I know. Can we… talk about something else?”
Caleb lapsed into silence, thinking only gods know what.
“Have you seen Seth?”
I propped myself up on one elbow. “No. He didn’t stop by when I was in Nashvil e and I haven’t real y been anywhere today. Why?”
He did his best to shrug. With his bruised ribs, it came off a bit lopsided. “I figured you’d see him since… ”
“Since what?”
“I know I was in and out of it back in the cabin, Alex, but your mom said you were another Apol yon.” He watched me closely.
My stomach turned over and I flopped back on the bed, silent. Caleb stil watched me. Waiting. I took a deep breath and told him everything in one big rush, stopping for a breath right before I told him Seth would become the God Kil er. When it was over, Caleb stared at me as if I had three heads. “What?”
He blinked and shook his head. “It’s just… you shouldn’t be, Alex. I remember my History and Civilization class last year. We talked about the Apol yons and what happened to Solaris. This is… wow.”
“Wow isn’t the word I’m aiming for.” I pushed myself up and crossed my legs. “I mean, it’s pretty cool. Right? At eighteen, I’l either be obliterated or sucked dry by Seth instead of legal y buying cigarettes.”
“But—”
“Not that I would smoke. I guess I could pick up the habit.
Maybe, just maybe, I’l be al energized long enough to use akasha, because I saw Seth use it and it was damn cool.
I’d like to hit a daimon or two with that.”
Caleb scowled. “You’re not taking this serious at al .”
“Oh, I am. This is what I like to cal coping with the impossible.”
He wasn’t impressed by my strategy. “You said Solaris was kil ed because the First Apol yon attacked the Council, right? Not because of what she was?”
I shrugged. “So as long as Seth doesn’t go crazy, then I guess I’m okay.”
“Why didn’t Solaris stand against him?”
“Because she fel in love with him or something lame like that.”
“Then don’t fal in love with Seth.”
“I real y don’t think that’l be a problem.”
He didn’t look entirely convinced. “Thought you guys belonged together or something?”
“Not in that way!” I forced my voice calmer. “It’s like our energy responds to one another. It’s nothing more than that.
I’m just made to… I don’t know, complete him. How freaking lame is that?”
He gave me a concerned look. “Alex, what are you going to do about this?”
“What can I do? I’m not going to stop living… or give up on my life, because of what might happen. Something real y bad may come out of this or something real y good or… nothing at al . I don’t know, but I do know I’m going to focus on being one… ” I stopped, surprised by my own words. Whoa. It was one of those real y mature, real y rare moments in my life.
Dammit. Where was Aiden to witness this?
“Focus on what?”
A wide smile crept across my face. “Focus on being one kickass Sentinel.”
Caleb stil didn’t buy it, but I brought up Olivia and he was successful y distracted. Eventual y I got up to leave. On the way out, I had an idea. It kind of came out of nowhere, but the moment it popped in my head, I knew I had to do it.
“Can you meet me tomorrow night around eight?”
His gaze met mine. Somehow, I think he knew what I was going to ask, because he was already nodding. “I want to have… something for my mom.” I squeezed my arms around my waist. “Like a memorial service or something. I mean, you don’t have to.”
“Of course I’l be there.”