Hell.
Every night without Faith…
Hell.
If she’s going to Sonoma, so am I.
The minute I hear Faith has rented a car, I know she’s driving to Sonoma. And I don’t want her there with Bill. I don’t want her there, or anywhere, without me. And I’m done waiting on the autopsy report and answers. All fucking week I’ve waited without Faith. And so, I hit the road in the BMW, for Sonoma, with a ring in my pocket and my heart shamelessly on my sleeve.
Because being alone is fine, as long as long as being alone is with Faith. Otherwise,alone is hell.
CHAPTER FORTY
Faith
My new landlord calls about the time I am on the road to Sonoma, confirming I can move in next weekend. I tell her how excited I am and I try to sound convincing, but reality is setting in. I’m leaving Nick behind. I use my Siri feature to call Kasey.
“Hey, Faith,” he answers. “Good to hear from you, stranger. I guess you meant it when you said you were going to let me run the show.”
“I did. I do. I am coming into town just to get some of my things this weekend. You want to have dinner?”
“Of course. When?”
“Saturday night?”
“Perfect. I’ll come to you after we close up.”
I have Siri dial Bill next. “Faith. Are you on your way here?”
“I am. I think I’m ready to talk. How about coffee tomorrow morning?”
“That works. When and where?”
“Do you just want to come by the house? I’m afraid I might get emotional about my parents and I really don’t want to be around people if that happens.”
“Eight?”
“Eight.”
“And I understand you getting emotional, but we’ll get through this.”
“Thanks,” I breathe out and when I hang up, I’m pretty sure I’ve misjudged him for a really long time.
I reach for the radio, but it starts to rain and I listen to the thrum of droplets on the windows. I love the rain but tonight, it feels like I’m in an empty hole.Alone.
And it doesn’t ease up. In fact, the rain is heavier, and the night pitch dark when I pull up to my house, and I am hollow inside except for a stabbing pain. I don’t belong here anymore. I don’t know why I wanted to come here. I almost turn around and leave, but I set up meetings. And I have random things in there. And I really need things that feel familiar.
I walk up the steps, key in my security code, miraculously getting it right the first time, and enter the house.
Nick
The rain is making me crazy. It taunts me. It repeats Faith’s words:Liar. You hurt me. You made sure I will never trust again.
I dial Beck, desperate for anything I can share with Faith.“I’m going to see her. Your time is up.”
“I’m onto something,” he says. “One of my CIA contacts has a ping on that mercury, and flag boy got a hit. There’s a connection there.”
“Where is he now?”