“You just said all the things you need to say to Lara to me. You need to show her your regret. You need to let her see your humble side.” I blow out a hiss of breath, finding this kind of deep and meaningful conversation with my reserved father so uncomfortable. “I know it won’t be easy for you. If I was in this position and I had to tell E…” I pause, realizing the mistake I almost made. “…my wife,” I continue, “I know I’d be feeling like it was impossible. But only you can make this right, dad. Only you can take us back to where we should be.”
“I know, son,” he says softly. “You know, when you were a little boy, you were so determined about absolutely everything. It used to drive me mad you wouldn’t listen to my directions. But I recognized myself in you. I’m so proud of the man you’re becoming.”
The lump in my throat is the size of a grapefruit because dad never talks like this. He’s an old-school father who puts the food on the table and demands a level of reverential respect that sets him apart within the family. He’s never allowed us to see even one chink in his armor. And now, I feel as though he’s set all his defenses aside.
“You can do this, dad,” I say. “I know you can. If you show Lara the same man you just showed me, I know it’ll work out.”
“How are your brothers?” he asks. “And Ellie?”
“The boys are okay,” I say. “But Ellie’s taking it badly.”
The sigh that rustles the microphone on the other end of the phone is even longer and more helpless. “I’m so sorry about that. Can you tell her when you see her?”
He says it, and I believe it. And for the first time since he called me with the news that broke everything, I wonder whether he might be able to make this right.
“Sure, pop.”
When we hang up, I finally raise my eyes from the ground in front of me and find Ellie watching me from twenty feet away. I raise my hand in a surprised wave, and she does the same. Then, as quickly as she was there, she disappears through the open door behind her.
I’m hungry as a bear. Missing out on my usual breakfast made by Lara is taking its toll. In the cafeteria, I grab a tray and attempt to find something to eat that doesn’t look gross. The choices are limited. As I’m staring at the burgers, a large figure looms next to me.
“Colby.” The voice is deep and gravelly, and when I look to the side, I find Dornan dressed in a black hoodie that seems to magnify his size to monolithic.
“Dornan.”
He clears his throat as I point to the burger, and the server behind the counter shovels fries onto my plate. “Can we grab a table? I want to talk to you about something.”
When I cut him a glance and find his face impassive, I can tell from his tone and stance that this isn’t to discuss football. “Sure,” I say.
I lumber to the register and pay while Dornan’s plate is filled, then I make my way over to a small table in the corner. Whatever we’re going to discuss isn’t something that should be overheard.
Eventually, Dornan places his tray on the small round table and takes a seat in front of me.
“Is this about Ellie?” I ask. “Micky said she was upset.”
“Yeah, it’s about Ellie,” he says.
“Look, I don’t know how much you know,” I say, grabbing my knife and fork and clutching them in my fists, resting on the table. “But I’ve told my dad he needs to sort things out. There isn’t anything else I can do. I can’t fix our parent’s marriage.”
Dornan takes a bite, his bright blue eyes boring into me. He chews slowly, as though he’s in no rush to tear me a new one, but he intends to. At least, that’s how it feels. I’ve never had a run-in with Ellie’s best friend. As far as I know, he’s a good guy. On the field, he plays without the usual bubbling undercurrent of rage. I’ve never seen him fight, but he knows how to handle himself. I already feel as though I should tread carefully.
“It’s good you’re supporting your dad,” he says eventually. “Just because they’re older and parents, it doesn’t mean that they always know what they’re doing.” Resting his half-demolished burger on the plate, he leans back in his chair, legs spread wide. It’s a power pose, but I’m not sure it’s intentional. Dornan is just big and used to filling a lot of space in the world. “That isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about, though.”
I stare at him for the first time, wondering exactly how much Ellie discloses to her best friend.