A bomb could explode in the next room, and I wouldn’t notice or care because as his mouth moves over mine, I swear I hear birds singing, or maybe it’s angels. I don’t know.
It’s not so much that he’s a better kisser than his brothers. Each of them has style that feels good. It’s more that I know this means something more to Colby. He’s giving up a boundary that he set, willingly or unwillingly. His fingers are rough, pressing bruises into the skin of my flesh. Tender and rough at the same time.
He nibbles my lower lips and tugs on it as he rises. There’s something lost about his expression. Something that feels tormented.
Truth.
This isn’t just about sex. Celine was right. An invisible thread tugs at my heart and tears burn my throat.
I don’t dare breath for fear they’ll see.
“I’m getting close, Ellie. You gonna take everything I have to give?”
“Yes,” I gasp, watching his cheeks flush, and noticing the sweat at his temples and hairline, the first sign of him losing control.
“Fuck.” He jerks inside me once, twice, then pulls out as though my body has scalded his.
“What is it?” I ask. Seb and Micky look down, worried.
“The condom. It fucking broke,” Colby says, his hand wrapped around his dick.
“Did you come?” Micky asks, his eyes lingering between my legs.
“Yeah, but I think I pulled out in time.” His breath leaves his mouth in a relieved whoosh. Or maybe he’s just panting and out of breath. I can’t really tell.
“That’s good,” Seb says. He rests his hand on Colby’s shoulder and turns to me. “Ellie, you should go clean up, just in case.”
I don’t know what that means, but I don’t ask. My heart is racing, my body is aching, and I just need a moment alone to process everything that has happened. Some cold water to shock me.
Shuffling quickly off the bed, I make for the bathroom before anyone can say or do anything else.
Shit.
I close the door and open my legs wide, running my index finger over my opening, finding more wetness there than usual. I bring it to my nose, and my heart drops because that isn’t the smell of my arousal. That’s clearly Colby’s cum leaking from inside me.
I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath, trying to calm the pounding in my chest. I know condoms aren’t one hundred percent effective, but this has never happened to me before. It’s not something I ever really considered, and now I feel stupid. I’m not on the pill, and a rough mental calculation of my cycle tells me I’m somewhere in the middle. The highest risk time.
What do I do?
My eyes flick to the shower. I need to wash out as much as I can. If I stay standing, that should reduce the amount that travels. The water is still cold when I sluice between my legs. There’s a lot to wash away. Despite all my efforts, I know I can’t get everything.
“Are you okay?” Micky asks through the door. I know it’s him from the gentle concern in his voice. He has a calming tone that’s different from his brothers. Seb always has a smile present when he speaks, and Colby has that dominant edge I can tell from a mile away.
“I’m just getting cleaned up,” I say. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
I grab a worn but clean towel from the stainless-steel rack and dry myself quickly. I’m wrapping it around myself and tucking in the end when someone’s phone rings in the bedroom.
A quick look in the mirror shows a flushed and wide-eyed Ellie gazing back. Flushed from the most amazing orgasms and wide-eyed at the realization that despite all my efforts, tonight wasn’t risk free.
It’ll be okay, I tell myself. I’ve done what I needed to do. The chance that anything will happen is really tiny. Despite every teen movie ever filmed showing the opposite, it’s not that easy to get pregnant. I remember the stats from Sex Ed.
And Colby pulled out as soon as he realized. At least, that’s what he said.
It’ll be fine.
We can walk out of this motel room tonight, knowing we’ve all scratched the itch that’s been building between us for years. This was the biggest dare I could have acted on. The hugest, in fact. There’s nothing bigger for them to challenge me with.
As I open the door, I paint a smile on my face and scan the room. I expect to find my stepbrothers all lounging around in a post-sex state of ultimate relaxation, but what I find is Colby hunched over as he listens to someone on the other end of the phone and his brothers sitting close, listening in.
Seb glances at me, and for the first time, I see clouds over his usually cheerful expression.