I snag my coffee from the table as her words settle inside me awkwardly. “I’m not lying to myself. Dares are cool, but I’m not looking for anything from them.”
“Other than monsoon-wet sex.”
“Exactly.”
“Mmmm…” Celine doesn’t sound convinced in the slightest. “And what about them?”
“I’m sure more monsoon-wet sex is awesome for them, too.”
“You don’t believe that any of them have deeper feelings for you? I mean, ya’ll live together. That’s a whole extra level of connection.”
“Exactly. They see me in the morning with no makeup and my resting bitch face out in full force. Why would they want more of that?”
“Except they do, don’t they? They’ve seen you at your best and worst and still want more than a weird housemate-faux-sibling relationship.”
“I guess.”
The cool air hits me in the face as Celine opens the door. It’s like a wake-up of sorts. A warning. Dare number five is taking us into entirely new territory, and I’m just striding forward without weighing the implications.
That’s what dares are about for me.
Freedom.
No consequences.
But Celine has sowed a seed of worry. What if my stepbrothers do feel more for me? What if all of Colby’s searing looks, Micky’s soft smiles, and Seb’s humorous jabs are more than just resentment or politeness? What if beneath the sex, there are actual feelings?
I don’t want to hurt them almost as much as I don’t want to hurt myself, but they have to realize that this can’t be anything more than five stupid dares and scratching an itch that’s been driving us all crazy.
They have to.
But do they?
16
COLBY
“Molly’s Motel. Why the fuck did you pick this place?” I ask Seb as we pull into the parking lot. It’s half-empty, which doesn’t say much about the quality or desirability of the establishment.
Seb shrugs. “What do you want? The Ritz?”
“I don’t know.” Glancing around, I wonder how Ellie will react when she turns up and finds this shabby building is her destination. Not exactly Paris, roses, and romance. My brothers reach for the door handles, and we all exit the vehicle in synch. I stare at Seb and Micky, still damp from their after-practice showers, dressed in comfortable sweats, soft cotton shirts, and sneakers, then I glance at my ruined Nikes.
Is this seriously what we’re doing? Daring a girl to meet us in a dingy motel room dressed like this?
I feel bad.
I know that life isn’t about the places you go but the company you have on the journey, but this feels fucking ridiculous.
“What are you thinking?” Micky asks.
“That Ellie deserves more.”
“This was Seb’s dare.” Micky nods at Seb, who slams the door shut and smiles like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
“What’s so different about this than Ellie coming to find us in the dead of night in our bedrooms?” he asks.
“A whole lot,” I say. “I don’t know why, but while it was happening at home, it was more relaxed…unexpected. This feels like a date.”
“Colby’s right,” Micky agrees. “We should have bought chocolates or flowers or something.”
“And freak Ellie the fuck out,” Seb says, strolling towards the main door to the motel reception, not waiting for us to catch up.
“What do you mean, ‘freak Ellie the fuck out?’ I ask.
“Ellie doesn’t want hearts and flowers from us,” Seb says, turning and shrugging. “She wants dares and orgasms. She wants guilt-free sex with three men she knows won’t hurt her because the consequences are too high.”
“All girls want hearts and flowers,” Micky says.
“Nah.” Seb rests his hand on the handle and pauses. “Some girls want the chance to be bad, to put all expectations aside, but they know there’s risk to that. We’re safe. Like a male best friend. Or the boy next door.”
“I don’t want to be safe,” I say.
“Safe doesn’t have to mean boring,” Micky pipes up. “Safe is good. It means she feels free to do what she wants…let her hair down.”
I frown as this entire conversation makes my head hurt. “That sounds okay, I guess.”
Seb shoots me an exasperated look. “How long have you wanted to fuck this girl? How many times have you told me we can’t, and here we are, doing the very thing you’ve been denying is possible? Don’t you want to enjoy the opportunity? Yes, I’d like it if Ellie wanted more from us. If she expected to be treated like a girlfriend rather than a hook-up. But I’ll take the hook-up if that’s all she’s comfortable with. Just appreciate the ride, bro. As long as she’s happy and we’re happy, what’s the problem?”
After Ellie and I were together in my bedroom, all I’ve been able to think about is her. After a second time at Molly’s Motel, how am I going to feel? How many times will I need to fuck Ellie to get her out of my system?
More than twice, that’s for sure.