But you like him, a little voice whispers. You like more than just how good he makes you feel. You saw how sweet he was with the kids and that stupid cat. You’ve noticed the gentle way he looks at you and all the times he’s changed the subject when mom was finding reasons to pick at you. You’ve seen the way he shields Sebastian from Harry’s derogatory comments. He’s a good person.
A good person with the potential to get under my skin.
My heart pounds with panic at the thought of what would happen if I admitted any of that. “Gabriella dared me,” I blurt, knowing that the truth is the best defense against heartache.
“She dared you to fuck me?” Micky pulls back, resting higher over me on straight arms. The space between our bodies is suddenly cold.
“She likes to get me to act on impulses that I usually stuff in a tightly sealed box.”
“So, you wanted to fuck me, but you only did it because she dared you?” He seems totally confused, and I’m suddenly hot with embarrassment. The truth might protect me from admitting how squishy my heart feels when he’s near me, but it makes me sound so frickin’ stupid.
“Why the dare, Ellie?”
I shrug, not wanting to admit that I’m a coward, but he doesn’t let it go. He waits, and waits, and waits for me to answer the question and in the end, the silence between us is too big and too loud for me to deal with.
“I’m not good at doing things that aren’t sensible,” I say. “I’m not good at stepping out of my comfort zone. Not without dares.”
When Micky rolls to his side, propping his head up on his hand so that he can stare down at me and touch my hair at the same time, I pull the sheet over my nakedness. He pushes it down again with a raise of his eyebrows.
“Did someone dare you to go in the closet at Dornan’s birthday party?”
“Dornan did.”
Micky nods, and I can almost hear the turning cogs of his brain as he works through this piece of information that has many implications.
“Why dares?” he asks.
I shrug, knowing that I’ve already spilled too much. Sharing makes me vulnerable, and I’m not ready to open myself up any more than I have.
We shared something amazing. And I realize, with a sudden rush of blood to the head, that I trusted this man with more than I’ve ever admitted to past lovers. I trusted him to tell him about a fragile part of me.
Stupid Ellie.
I need to draw a line under this conversation and get out of here. I need him to understand that it won’t happen again, but that I’m cool with that. “I’m happy she dared me, and that’s all you need to know,” I blurt.
Micky nods and hooks his hand around my waist, pulling me closer. He smells so good, even after sex, in a way that makes me feel a little trippy. Is this what attraction is supposed to be like? Who knew?
“Can I ask you something else?” he whispers.
“Sure.” I kiss his stubbled jaw for no other reason than I want to taste the salt on his skin. That and it’s a distraction.
“If I dared you to fuck Colby, would you feel the same way? Is it an impulse you haven’t acted on? One that you would if I dared you. Like what you did with me.”
“Why Colby? Why not Seb?” I ask, feeling the penetrating way he’s watching me.
“It could be Seb. Would you prefer it if it was Seb?”
Would I?
I had considered none of this. Gabriella’s dare was a onetime thing, and I picked Micky. The memory of Colby’s whispered words and Seb’s flicking tongue set goosebumps racing over my skin. I shiver, and Micky feels it. He knows. I’m like an open book; my pages spread wide in front of him. But I’m not ready to answer his question. I’m not ready to reveal any more about my desires or feelings.
Shrugging, I kiss his mouth, and we explore each other deeply and slowly for long, liquid minutes. Long minutes we don’t have.
Eventually, my sensible self returns. “I should go.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
As I slide out of bed, tugging my nightdress back over my body, I smile. “That’s not how dares work, Micky,” I say.
“I dare you to fuck Colby.” His eyes never leaving mine as he watches for telltale signs that would give away how I feel about his challenge. He won’t see any because I keep my face impassive.
“Don’t tell your brothers what we did,” I say.
A frown pulls his brows together, and he cocks his head to one side.
“I’ll take the dare,” I say. “I always do.”
The smile he gives me lights up the darkness. “You want them, too?” he asks, full of bubbling hope.