You’re a coward.
It was a cruel, throwaway comment from a man who never understood the power of words. It’s a comment that’s lodged deep in my heart like a shard of glass that can never be removed for fear of bleeding out.
Because I think he’s right. I am a coward. I never push myself hard enough. It’s one of the reasons that Mom spends so much time gushing about my stepbrothers. They’re dynamic go-getters, and I’m just happy coasting, apparently. The only time I ever let myself go is with a dare. And every time I go through with a dare, however stupid, it’s like I’m sticking a big fuck-you finger up at my dad.
Dares make me brave, and I like being brave.
“You can take it back,” I say hopefully, just as the girl who’s one hundred percent into sex dares steps out and beams at us. She’s dressed like a crazy art teacher, with brightly colored clothes and frizzy multicolored hair; an abstract painting brought to life. Gabriella and I look at each other and smile as we have the same idea.
“The guy in black,” we say simultaneously.
“What?” she asks.
“Your sex dare,” Gabriella clarifies. “There’s a guy out there to the right by the bar, dressed all in black. He has paint on his arms.”
“Paint? Sounds cool.”
I want to tell her that the word cool is no longer cool, but I don’t because she seems so happy. She washes her hands and then proceeds to give both Gabriella and me a hug.
“Good luck with your sex dare,” she whispers in my ear, giving me a wink as she leaves.
“You see,” Gabriella says, pressing her hands to my inflamed cheeks and squashing them like an overzealous Italian grandmother. “I’m like a sex genie, making everyone’s wishes come true.”
“You think I’ve been wishing to fuck one of my stepbrothers?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes, I do. In fact, I think you wish you could fuck them all. But I won’t go that far with the dare. Not now. Not until you tell me it’s what you want.”
“Oh, that’s so kind of you,” I huff. “You want to make sure your sex wishes actually end in satisfaction.”
Taking me by the hand, she heads for the door with me trailing behind. “Well, I can’t guarantee you a good time. I just hope whichever one you choose will deliver.”
I don’t tell her I already know one who is guaranteed to provide satisfaction. Micky and all the special things he can do with his fingers and tongue. I guess if I’m going to go ahead with this dare-and just the thought of it has my panties wet–I should choose the one who’s already proven himself. And I’ve already seen him naked. Somehow, that makes this whole thing less daunting.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” I say as we hit the dancefloor again. The alcohol in my body is making everything way fuzzier than is ideal. If I was sober, maybe all of this would freak me out rather than make my nerve endings buzz with anticipation.
“No, my darling. You’re the crazy one because you’re going to go through with this dare, aren’t you?”
8
MICKY
“This conversation is pointless,” Colby grumbles as he drives us home from the Red Devil. It was a good night, with a great atmosphere and the chance to watch Ellie dance wearing her clingy green dress. Hell, I’d have stayed longer, but Colby’s mood fucked with everyone’s mojo.
“I saw how close you were to kissing her,” I say. My brother is still in denial, even though he has no reason to lie to Seb or me. “You were leaning in, and she was waiting. If I hadn’t stumbled in there like a fucking cock block, you would have kissed Ellie as she wanted.”
“You didn’t see shit,” Colby says, his denial sounding hollow. He grits his teeth in that fucking stubborn way that makes me want to punch him in the face and plead with him to take a chill pill. Sibling vibes.
“Maybe that’s his game,” Seb says. “Maybe Colby’s telling us that Ellie’s not interested, and we need to keep our distance for the sake of the family so that he can stake his claim behind our backs.”
“Is that your game, Colby?” I ask doubtfully.
“No, that’s not my game. What kind of asshole do you think I am?”
“Then what the fuck is going on?” I flick the radio off, wanting us all to concentrate on this conversation. “I know what I saw. Why won’t you just admit it?”
“He won’t admit that he likes her because he knows what will happen,” Seb says.
“And what is that?” Colby growls.
“We’ll fuck her. And we’ll want more. And maybe everything Colby suspects will happen comes to pass. Our dad will skin our cocks, and Ellie’s mom will use the skin to make a new purse,” Seb laughs, but neither of those thoughts is funny. I shift uncomfortably in my seat.