Dad stares and stares, showing no reaction at all as if his mind is a computer and it hasn’t caught up yet.
“You…love her,” he says slowly, eyes narrowed.
“Yes,” Hayden says, with so much certainty I can’t help but smile.
Dad catches it, his gaze moving quickly to me. “And Hallie…you feel the same?”
“Yes,” I say, with the same certainty, not having to doubt that part.
“How?” Dad rests his elbows on his knees, staring at me, then Hayden. “I like to think I know you pretty well.”
“You do,” Hayden cuts in.
“I know, for a fact, you never looked at Hallie before you left to cover the kidnapping. And ended up getting kidnapped yourself.” He pauses, tone softening. “This hasn’t been going on since then.”
“Of course not.” Hayden bristles. “She was a kid then, Graham. She had braces on her teeth.”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Dad goes on. “But then, how can you say you’re in love with each other? This must’ve started….”
Dad arches his eyebrow, looking at me. I remember what Hayden and I said on the plane.
The truth, no matter what.
We’ve lied enough already.
“It started the night he came home and stayed at our house.” I swallow, forcing myself to keep going. “We kissed in the kitchen.”
The truth fine, but I don’t want to assault dad with all the details.
“I’m sorry,” Hayden says, sighing. “I didn’t mean for it to happen like that…at all, really.”
“Dad, you have to know something,” I quickly cut in as dad stares at us, his expression difficult to read. “Hayden wanted to tell you right away. I was the one who delayed.”
“Why?” Dad asks plainly.
I almost say I didn’t want to ruin your trip, but no. The truth.
“I told myself I didn’t want to ruin your trip. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance, and it came up so quickly. But really, I was scared, terrified.”
“Of what?” Dad asks.
I laugh in frustration, like a valve releasing pressure, with no humor in it.
“Of you,” I say. “Your reaction.”
“It’s a lot to take in,” Dad mutters, leaning back, closing his eyes for a moment. “But I want to understand. Okay, so you came home, Hayden, and suddenly found Hallie?”
“Where does the love come in?” Dad goes on.
Hayden and I look at each other. His lips are a flat line of uncertainty.
“Have you ever known me to lie to you?” Hayden asks.
Dad shakes his head. “No.”
There’s no doubt at all in his voice.
Despite everything, I find myself smiling, cherishing the connection Dad and Hayden share. I imagine dad holding our child, his grandchild, as all the drama and possible pain drift away to nothing.
“Then you know I mean this,” Hayden says. “When I came home, I felt the same way I always did. Distant. Numb. It was terrible over there, don’t get me wrong, but it didn’t affect me. There’s a reason you used to joke that I was a psycho.”
“That was only ever a joke,” Dad says. “I know how much you care about people. Your work alone shows that.”
My heart whelms again, the good feelings expanding, the bad ones turning to ash. I warn myself to calm down, not to allow these thoughts to dominate my mind.
What if dad hates us for it?
“I’ve always tried to do the right thing,” Hayden says. “But I never felt it, felt much until I came home and saw Hallie. Everything changed. Suddenly I knew….”
He trails off. My hands clench into fists. We’re getting close to the insane part now, but we can’t stop now.
“I knew Hallie was mine,” Hayden says fiercely. “I knew I wanted to be with her forever. I know how it sounds, Graham, but you know me. I swear I’m telling the truth.”
“I believe you,” Dad whispers, his voice low, staring with something like wonderment.
“I knew, right then, I wanted to marry her, have children with her, be with her forever. I tried to fight it. But I couldn’t. All I could tell myself is there’s no way Hallie felt the same.”
Dad turns to me, staring in that perceptive way of his, properly looking at me, into me.
“Hallie?”
“I felt the same,” I tell Dad. “I feel the same. I thought I was crazy. I thought he’d laugh at me. But something special is happening here, Dad. I know it’s a lot to take in, but I truly believe that. Our relationship…we both want the same thing, the same future. We’re both desperate for it.”
I turn to find Hayden looking at me with intense eyes, conviction in his expression, readiness.
“You want children,” Dad says.
“Yes,” I reply, voice firm.
“What about your career?” he asks.
“I can have a career and children,” I tell him. “I’m not saying it will be easy, but I currently work from home. So that’s a plus.”
“And I’ll provide everything she needs, always.” Hayden’s hand shifts as though he’s going to reach over and take mine. But then he lets it drop. “You know a little about my investments.”