There’s more fierceness in it now, more passion, more perfection.
“Do you really want it all?” I growl. “A future, kids together?”
“Yes,” she whispers. “So badly.”
We both move closer, but then Hallie grimaces and leans back just a little bit. I can tell how hard it is for her, just as difficult as it is for me, every single moment, not to take her.
Especially now that I know the truth.
“We shouldn’t keep her waiting much longer,” Hallie whispers.
“I know,” I say, returning to my seat again. “We have to get this over with.”
“Over,” Hallie says as I back the car out of the alleyway.
Which isn’t a fitting place for my woman’s first time anyway. Not even in the right league.
But I know the beast in me, howling and demanding.
I know I’d claim her here, anywhere, if I had the chance.
“It’s a fitting word,” Hallie goes on. “Over. I can’t believe it’s all going to end after we just….”
“I know,” I say, glancing at her, feeling like a giant nail is clawing down my chest, tearing me apart. “It’s funny. While we were kissing, I forgot about that.”
“Me too,” she laughs quietly, with an unhinged aspect to it. “But it’s happening. We’re already here.”
She nods to the laundromat to the left.
My heart thuds even more aggressively when I see Janine waiting outside, her arms folded, staring out at the street.
I park, and we climb out, wondering if she’s going to leap at me, her hands flying to my face, her words vicious and shameful and true.
But she doesn’t know the truer truth Hallie, and I just shared if such a thing exists.
Our closeness, our desire….
I want to take her on a date so badly, proudly wrap my arm around her, not having to worry if everything’s going to come crashing down or when it is.
“Finally,” Janine says, stepping forward and looking at me, then Hallie, then back to me. “Did you get lost?”
It’s there again, the tenseness I’ve never noticed before.
Whenever Janine and I speak –admittedly, not often – she’s always friendly or at least calm.
This is something else. It’s like she wants to slap me across the face for being late.
Making this last longer than it has to, the awkwardness of confronting her daughter’s lover.
“Come on.” She waves a hand at Hallie and me. “Let’s go.”
We follow her into the laundromat, exchanging a glance. Hallie’s expression is as conflicted as mine must be, with the joy of what we shared clashing with the fact it’s going to come to an end very soon.
As Hallie and I trail after her mother, our hands brush accidentally.
We both move away from each other because each of us knows what could happen, what could easily happen if we held on for just a moment longer.
Even here, our bodies, our hearts would make us hold hands.
Then Janine would turn, see….
And what?
Hate us even more?
Janine leads us to a backroom with a sign that reads staff only on it.
She stops, turning, crossing her arms. She doesn’t wear nurse’s scrubs but a dress shirt, plain trousers, and comfortable shoes. She stares at me, Hallie, and us both as though she’s getting ready for the most vicious tirade ever given.
“The owners were kind enough to let me use this room,” she says. “Before we go in, I need you both to give me your word. Whatever happens, you won’t discuss it with anybody.”
I swallow, my mind flailing here and there, trying to figure out what that strange statement could mean.
“You have my word,” I mutter.
“And mine,” Hallie says.
“All right.” Janine sighs, pushing the door open. “Let’s do this.”
Do… what?
We follow Janine into the room.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Hallie
When Mom leads us into the small office, I see the woman and my belly drops harshly. I feel like the floor’s just disappeared, leaving nothing beneath me.
Falling but still able to somehow stumble forward, I compose my expression into something less frantic.
She’s tall, athletic, and classically beautiful, her face artfully covered in makeup, and she has long blonde hair. She’s older than me, perhaps in her thirties, but it doesn’t affect how her jeans hug her body.
I don’t normally analyze women like this. Or people.
Anyone.
Except for Hayden, constantly, achingly…
But my mind’s piecing things together, trying to make sense of this, and there’s only one conclusion I can come to. The walk feels long as we cross the small room, as though time’s slowed, giving me plenty of space to think.
Mom found Hayden’s girlfriend.
In the most brutal, blunt terms, she wants to show me that Hayden does not want me in the way he claims. She’s gone through all this effort, doing it in a perverse and sadistic way…
A very non-mom way.
I take a breath, willing myself to calm down.
When I look at Hayden, I see the same twist to his lips, his eyes narrowed in the way I’ve seen in photos of him online, cover pieces about his work.